Published on June 14, 2014
Updated on August 16, 2015
Updated on August 16, 2015
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Ship Name: Vauseman (or Pipex)
Show: Orange is the New Black Ship Characters: Piper Chapman and Alex Vause Subtext or Main text: Main text Status: Not together Gist: An electric couple whose cup overfloweth with passion and also drama. When Alex looks at Piper, she looks like she's overcome with desire to consume her, and when Piper looks at Alex, her eyes always seem to scan Alex's face in awe, like she's exploring the wonders of the universe. Their attraction for one another is undeniable and their chemistry when they are together is breathtakingly palpable. These two ladies met when they were young, immediately sparked, and had a multiple year relationship that ended badly due to Alex's involvement in a |
drug ring. A decade later, they reunite in prison - one of them engaged and both of them with a load of emotional baggage over their history - and it is as if no time has passed: their magnetism to one another as great as ever, as well as their propensity to turn each other's world upside down. It's easy to categorize them as another blond/brunette, good girl/bad girl, rich girl/poor girl couple, but their relationship consists of far more complexity than any conventional understanding could convey. Whether they are "endgame" or not is yet to be determined, but one thing is for certain: if they are near each other, get ready because when they are good, they are deliciously good, and when they are bad...well, take cover.
Vauseman Table of Contents
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This page
Ship History Baby Vauseman Vauseman Appearances Vauseman Flashbacks Alex's Playlist of Love Important Vauseman Quotes The Good The Bad The Sexy |
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Vauseman Gallery of Passion |
Vauseman Ship HistoryFirst words to each other: Alex: "Hey you, Laura Ingalls Wilder. We're escaping America before the apocalypse. Wanna come?" Piper: "Sorry?" (1.03, 36:43)
First place they met: A bar, presumably around Smith College Date of first meeting: 2003 Last seen together: 3.13: Trust No Bitch (3.13, 32:01) Last words together: Piper: "You dumped me because I fired Flaca, and now you're criticizing me for bringing her back." Alex: "I broke up with you because you were being gross, and now you're being stupid. That girl wants to fuck you over and get her prison cred back. But you're right, it's none of my business. Godfather knows best." (3.13, 31:35) |
From 1.03: Lesbian Request Denied
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Baby Vauseman
In a very important aside, look how freakin' cute baby Vauseman is:
From 2.01: Thirsty Bird
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From 1.09: Fucksgiving
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Vauseman Appearances
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Season 1
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Season 3
3.01: Mother's Day
3.02: Bed Bugs and Beyond 3.03: Empathy is a Boner Killer 3.04: Finger in the Dyke 3.05: Fake It Till You Fake It Some More 3.06: Ching Chong Chang 3.07: Tongue-Tied 3.08: Fear, and Other Smells 3.09: Where My Dreidel At 3.10: A Tittin' and a Hairin' 3.11: We Can Be Heroes 3.12: Don't Make Me Come Back There 3.13: Trust No Bitch |
Vauseman Flashbacks (in chronological order)
Below is a list of all Vauseman flashbacks that have appeared on the show so far. They are placed in chronological order, though some placements are estimated, but I made my best educated guesses based on hair length or other circumstantial evidence.
From 2.01: Thirsty Bird
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First Meeting - 1.03 at 36:32
Bedroom Scene Where Alex's Girlfriend Sylvia Attacks Piper - 2.10 at 1:19 Bar Scene Where Piper Pursues Alex and They Reconcile - 2.10 at 13:20 Bedroom Scene Where Alex Tells Piper She Loves Her - 2.10 at 43:29 Alex Meets Polly - 1.06 at 31:07 Bedroom Scene Where Alex Invites Piper to Bali - 1.01 at 14:26 Kissing in the Shower - 1.01 at 00:13 In a Pool While Hanging Out with Kubra and Fahri - 2.01 at 51:58 Preparing for Piper's First Drug Ring Involvement - 1.01 at 24:22 Brussels' Airport During Piper's First Drug Ring Involvement - 1.01 at 35:23 Threat of Breakup 1.11 at 16:26 Breakup After News of the Passing of Alex's Mom - 1.11 at 35:14 |
Alex's Playlist of Love
As Alex explains to Piper in episode 3.04: Finger in the Dyke (41:51): "Well, I couldn't make you a mix, so...I wrote down the songs I would've put on the mix if we were, like, normal people and not weird prison girlfriends." After their newly acknowledged girlfriend-girlfriend relationship, Alex presents Piper with a playlist of songs that she feels represent or relate to their coupling. As Piper puts it, "This is so nice! And so gay." Truer words were never spoken. The songs we are apprised of:
Important Vauseman Quotes
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Alex, to Piper: Come be my little spoon. (1.11, 44:22)
Piper: Why do you always feel so inevitable to me? Alex: I heart you. Piper: You heart me? What is that? Is that like "I love you" for pussies? Alex: Say "pussy" again. Piper: I heart you, too. (1.11, 45:27) Piper, to Alex: You want me to be angry? Well, guess what, I'm really fucking angry because I love you, Alex. I love you and I fucking hate you. (1.12, 12:00) Piper, giving testimony about Alex: She was the love of my life. [...] I was there for Alex. She was what I paid attention to. Who I paid attention to. Everything else was just...background. (2.01, 49:01) Piper, to Alex: I want to taste what you taste like. (2.10, 15:32) Alex: But I love you. I don't say that to everyone. You have to say it back. Piper: I love you, too. (2.10, 44:13) Piper, to Polly: Maybe all of the guys that I've been with so far have just been really bad in bed, but I'm telling you, it's like I just discovered what sex is supposed to be. (2.10, 37:32) Alex: I know my track record is shit, but I really do love you. Piper: Yeah, well, I hate you. Alex: No, you don't. Piper: No. No, I don't. (2.13, 31:35) |
From 1.09: Fucksgiving
Letter from Alex to Piper from 2.13: We Have Manners. We're Polite.
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Piper: Will you be my girlfriend?
Alex: Yeah.
Piper: Yes?
Alex: Yes, you idiot. (3.04, 41:20)
Alex: Yeah.
Piper: Yes?
Alex: Yes, you idiot. (3.04, 41:20)
The Good
From 1.11: Tall Men with Feelings
From 1.10: Bora Bora Bora
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Alex Assuring Piper Everything's Going to Be All Right - 1.01 at 24:22
Vauseman's First Meeting - 1.03 at 36:32 Vauseman During Alex's First Meeting with Polly - 1.06 at 31:07 Piper Smelling Alex's Pillow - 1.06 at 44:21 Alex Flirting with Piper in the Laundry Room - 1.08 at 17:47 Vauseman Flirting While Piper Tries to Fix the Dryer - 1.08 at 19:04 Vauseman in Front of Healy Post-Dryer Incident - 1.08 at 35:37 Vauseman Reconciling on Alex's Bed - 1.08 at 52:44 Vauseman Flirting Before Taystee's Party - 1.09 at 10:22 Vauseman Dancing to "Milkshake" - 1.09 at 11:51 Vauseman Pretending to Not Be Hooking Up - 1.10 at 1:20 Vauseman Flirting While Playing Cards - 1.10 at 4:18 Alex Comforting Piper After Tricia's Death - 1.10 at 48:52 Vauseman Talking at Piper's Failed Memorial for Tricia - 1.11 at 14:10 Vauseman Together at Tricia's Memorial - 1.11 at 28:53 Vauseman Spooning and Saying They Heart Each Other - 1.11 at 43:58 Vauseman Reconciling and Discussing Future - 1.12 at 40:56 Piper Spotting Alex in Chicago Prison Yard - 2.01 at 34:37 Vauseman Reconnecting Pre-Kubra Trial - 2.01 at 38:44 Vauseman Talking on Bus to Kubra Trial - 2.01 at 46:17 Piper Testifying that Alex is the Love of Her Life - 2.01 at 48:57 Bedroom Scene Where Alex Tells Piper She Loves Her - 2.10 at 43:29 Phone Call Where Alex Explains Events of 2.01 - 2.11 at 25:16 Vauseman Discussion at LCF Visiting Room - 2.13 at 28:12 Piper Looking at Alex's Letters - 2.13 at 1:26:20 |
Piper and Alex Reuniting in LCF - 3.01 at 19:06
Piper and Alex Cuddling and Reconnecting in the LCF Chapel - 3.01 at 26:54
Piper Protecting Alex from SHU in the Bathroom - 3.02 at 27:39
Vauseman Doing Improv in the LCF Drama Class - 3.03 at 24:48
Alex Refusing to Have Hate Sex Due to Her Empathy for Piper - 3.03 at 43:21
Alex Proposing a Love-Fuck Instead of a Hate-Fuck - 3.03 at 7:58
Piper Asking Alex to Be Her Girlfriend - 3.04 at 40:10
Vauseman Talking at the LCF Track - 3.05 at 31:25
Piper Giving Alex a Whispers Catalog Picture - 3.06 at 29:34
Piper Plotting Her Underwear Business with Alex - 3.07 at 18:07
Vauseman Planning Piper's Underwear Business - 3.07 at 28:17
Vauseman Discussing Alex's Recent Suspicions and Stella Carlin - 3.11 at 12:55
Piper and Alex Cuddling and Reconnecting in the LCF Chapel - 3.01 at 26:54
Piper Protecting Alex from SHU in the Bathroom - 3.02 at 27:39
Vauseman Doing Improv in the LCF Drama Class - 3.03 at 24:48
Alex Refusing to Have Hate Sex Due to Her Empathy for Piper - 3.03 at 43:21
Alex Proposing a Love-Fuck Instead of a Hate-Fuck - 3.03 at 7:58
Piper Asking Alex to Be Her Girlfriend - 3.04 at 40:10
Vauseman Talking at the LCF Track - 3.05 at 31:25
Piper Giving Alex a Whispers Catalog Picture - 3.06 at 29:34
Piper Plotting Her Underwear Business with Alex - 3.07 at 18:07
Vauseman Planning Piper's Underwear Business - 3.07 at 28:17
Vauseman Discussing Alex's Recent Suspicions and Stella Carlin - 3.11 at 12:55
The Bad
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Vauseman Post-Piper's First Drug Ring Involvement in Brussels' Airport - 1.01 at 35:23
Piper Seeing Alex for the First Time in LCF - 1.01 at 49:43 Vauseman Exchanging Barbs at Uniform Window - 1.03 at 12:59 Alex Getting Pie Thrown at Her in Cafeteria - 1.03 at 18:12 Bathroom Argument Where Alex Lies About Involvement in Piper's Charges - 1.03 at 48:03 Alex Taking a Seat In Front of Piper at Yoga and AA - 1.05 at 28:57 Alex Saying Piper Abandoned Her During AA - 1.05 at 32:16 Piper Laughing at Alex's Joke For Morello's WAC Campaign and Falling Flat - 1.06 at 30:57 Piper saying "Alex" in the Bathroom and Running Out - 1.06 at 35:51 Piper's Failed Apology to Alex in Laundry Room - 1.07 at 18:32 Flashback of Piper Threatening Breakup - 1.11 at 16:26 Flashback of Breakup - 1.11 at 35:14 Piper Revealing that She Knows Alex Named Her to Feds - 1.12 at 4:09 Kitchen Fight - 1.12 at 10:45 Piper Telling Alex that She Chooses Larry - 1.13 at 10:46 Piper Running to Alex and Being Rejected - 1.13 at 48:28 Piper Screaming at Alex When Alex Is Freed Post-Kubra Trial - 2.01 at 53:58 Piper Being Attacked By Alex's Girlfriend, Sylvia - 2.10 at 3:03 Piper Awkwardly Comparing to Alex as a Cockroach - 3.02 at 17:26 Piper Admitting She Had Polly Contact Alex's Parole Officer - 3.02 at 34:52 Alex and Piper Fighting in the Cafeteria - 3.03 at 16:05 Vauseman Arguing About Alex's Concerns About Kubra - 3.05 at 43:38 Alex and Piper Arguing About Stella Carlin - 3.10 at 50:27 Vauseman Disagreeing About Piper's Business - 3.11 at 33:02 Vauseman Breaking Up - 3.11 at 53:40 Vauseman Post Break-Up - 3.12 at 13:32 Vauseman Arguing Over Piper's Business - 3.13 at 13:32 |
From 1.03: Lesbian Request Denied
From 1.03: Lesbian Request Denied
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The Sexy
From 2.10: Little Mustachioed Shit
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Vauseman Kissing in the Shower - 1.01 at 00:13
Bedroom Scene Where Alex Invites Piper to Bali - 1.01 at 14:26 Piper Grabbing Alex and Pulling Her into the Chapel to Have Sex - 1.09 at 56:25 Piper and Alex Sexing It Up in an LCF Closet - 1.10 at 1:40 In a Pool While Hanging Out with Kubra and Fahri - 2.01 at 51:58 Bedroom Scene with Alex Going Down on Piper - 2.10 at 1:19 Bar Scene Where Piper Pursues Alex and They Reconcile - 2.10 at 13:20 Vauseman Angry Sex in LCF Library - 3.02 at 53:30 Vauseman Angry Pre-Sex Foreplay in LCF Library - 3.03 at 4:16 |
Continue to the Vauseman Gallery of Passion
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