Romantic History/Interactions
As Piper Chapman herself describes: "I like hot girls. And I like hot boys. I like hot people." The canonically bisexual Piper Chapman has dated members of both genders and doesn't care what kind of equipment you got going on underneath, so long as a chemical spark is present. We know she's dated multiple women, as Polly referred to the "girls" she has dated in the past, but so far, the only romantic interests we've seen of hers are Larry Bloom and Alex Vause. Her romantic history/interactions are discussed below:
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Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren (played by Uzo Aduba) - the ex-"wife" of Piper, who makes a brilliant play for her affections at the beginning of Piper's LCF stay. Suzanne offers Piper a place to sit in an unfriendly and unfamiliar cafeteria, provides her peppers that facilitate her redemption with Red, offers an earbud during a movie, and, of course, throws pie at Alex Vause for her. Not only that, but Suzanne wrote for her "Dandelion" a poem that she recited in broad daylight. Sadly, Suzanne never got her swirl on with Piper, and after she receives a gentle rejection, Suzanne lets loose in the dark of night, urinating all over Piper's cubicle with Miss Claudette. So, a bad breakup. The two of them eventually become genuine friends, but after Larry unleashes a cruel description of Suzanne on NPR, she tells Piper that she's mean, and their friendship is in jeopardy. By season 2, we find out Suzanne is the reason Piper was prevented from killing Pennsatucky, as she went out and basically punched Piper out after her disastrous Christmas pageant appearance. Piper genuinely thanks Suzanne for stopping her, but when she asks her to watch a movie with her, Suzanne tells her no, explaining, "I'm a garden rose." All righty, then.
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Complimenter of "titties"
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Larry Bloom (played by Jason Biggs) - Oh, Larry. The fiancé of Piper who has had a roller coaster relationship with her, at least since she's entered prison. Larry is an "underemployed" writer and self-described "Jew-boy" who deeply loves Piper, but who has been completely naive and unaware of an entire other side of her. Unsurprisingly, during Piper's time at LCF, their relationship has gotten increasingly tense, even suffering through Piper's re-ignited relationship with Alex Vause. Throughout, Larry has had his share of good and bad moments with, in my opinion, more bad than good so far. He's confronted Alex in a terribly embarrassing and insecure assertion of his relationship; forced Piper to accept an ultimatum to stay with him; used Piper's imprisonment to his own professional advantage; thoughtlessly endangered Piper in LCF via his NPR chat; pushed her to get an abortion before she even knew if she was pregnant; and lied to her about Alex's involvement in her criminal charges as a way to manipulate her. That being said, Larry's not a bad guy. He loves Piper and when things start to turn to shit, he unfortunately jumps into the tornado of insanity and makes things worse.
By season 2, after he and Piper attempt to possibly reunite, both of their hearts aren't in it, and they mutually call it quits...though, not before Larry sleeps with Piper's best friend, Polly. What?! As a result, he gets a well-earned punch in the face from his former best friend, Pete, and a refusal for a blessing from Piper. By the end of season 2, he and Polly are still together, so maybe Piper and Larry are officially donezo for good? Only time will tell. |
The man of a thousand sweater-shirt combos
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Alex Vause (played by Laura Prepon) - The Vauseman relationship is discussed in much further detail on its own standalone page: Vauseman. Vause is the three-time ex of Piper and resurgent love interest who feels "so inevitable" to her. Alex and Piper met when Piper was just a wee 22 years of age and after that initial meeting, Piper's life has been on a whirlwind journey - both good and bad. These two are dangerously good together and can also be dangerously bad for one another. Alex has always mentioned Piper as being "different" from all the other girls she's ever been with before and seems to have an uncontrollable weakness for Piper. After almost a decade apart, the two of them still found a way to reunite, even though Piper was engaged and they both had a lot of negative feelings towards one another. After a failed attempt at a relationship in season 1, they reunite again in season 3, for another roller coaster ride of dysfunction, ending in them splitting up and Alex's life hanging in the balance. Presuming Vause shall survive her encounter with Kubra's henchman, Vauseman shall still be in prison together, but whether they will get back together again and whether they even should is a question that remains unanswered.
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Sexy catnip to Piper
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Stella Carlin (played by Ruby Rose) - Introduced in episode 3.06: Ching Chong Chang, Stella appears in Litchfield seemingly just for Piper's storyline. As the Vauseman ship hits their almost ever-present rocky waters, Stella quickly becomes a tempting distraction for Piper. The two meet while working for the Whispers lingerie slave shop, and per usual, Piper doesn't seem to be able to help herself. With her accent, tats, and generally stunning good looks, she wins over Piper, but their affair is short-lived. When Stella has only a few days left on her sentence, she gives Piper a not very nice goodbye present by stealing some of her profits from the online panty-selling business. After giving Piper the tattoo of "Trust No Bitch," Piper returns the favor in a brutally harsh manner, planting contraband in Stella's cubicle, which results in Stella being denied her release and instead being sent down to a maximum security prison. Trust no bitch, indeed.
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Inmate/Model/Panty-Dropper/Panty-Maker
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Continue to Piper Chapman Gallery of Emotion
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Go to Vauseman page
Go to Vauseman Gallery of Passion Go to the Alex Vause page Go to Orange is the New Black page Go to Orange is the New Black Episode Recaps Go to Taylor Schilling page |