Published on May 4, 2014
Updated on August 16, 2015
Updated on August 16, 2015
Piper Chapman
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Name: Piper Elizabeth Chapman (2.01, 31:33)
Nicknames: Pipes (used by Larry Bloom and Alex Vause); Chapman (used by LCF); Honey Boo Boo (used by Watson); Taylor Swift (used by Watson); Brain (used by Tricia Miller); Chicken Lady (used by Poussey); Dandelion (used by Suzanne Warren); Blanca (used by Mendoza), La Llorona - "the Wailing Lady" (used by the Spanish inmates); Pipe (used by Polly); College (used by Pennsatucky); Perfect Piper (used by Piper's mom); JonBenét Ramsey (used by Alex Vause); Kid (used by Alex Vause); First Class (used by Darius McRae in 2.01); Dumbass (used by Alex Vause in 2.01); The Suburbs (used by spitting inmate in 2.01); Blondie (used by DeMarco in 2.03); Inspector Gadget (used by Black Cindy in 2.04); Twiggy (used by Big Boo in 2.04); Roberta (used by Jimmy in 2.07); Pipette (used by Cal in 2.09); Schnookums (used by Alex in 3.09) Aliases: Zoe (2.01) Show: Orange is the New Black Portrayed by: Taylor Schilling Birthday: June 7, 1981 at 11:42 a.m. (2.01, 26:03; 2.01, 37:41) Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Shoe Size: 10 (1.03, 12:56) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Tattoos: 1) Tropical fish on the back of her neck. It was acquired on a scuba diving trip with Alex. (1.01, 24:02); 2) White ink tattoo that says "Trust No Bitch" inked by Stella Carlin (3.13, 45:35); 3) An infinity sign just like the one Taylor Schilling has (3.13, 1:14:42) First Word(s): "I've always loved getting clean." (1.01, 0:07) |
In the words of her own brother, Cal, Piper Chapman is a "complicated cat." It's hard to make any declarative statements about Piper because when we meet her, she is right at the beginning of one of the most unstable and transformative periods of her life - the beginning of a prison sentence at a facility starkly different from the life she was leading. Coming from a WASP-y background where her dad had extramarital affairs and her mother coped with alcohol and keeping up with the Joneses, she was taught to keep everything on the inside and to meet the expectations society had for her. This, though, is not who Piper Chapman is. While it may be hard to definitively describe Piper at this point, one thing she is not: conventional.
Piper herself has said that the truly scary part of prison is that it made her confront who she really is, and, at the moment, she cannot tell which "Piper" is the real one. At times, she can be exceedingly naive, narcissistic, snobbish, self-righteous, and just outright "mean," as Suzanne Warren concluded. At other times, she can be vulnerable, thoughtful, fun, brilliant, adorable, and a wonderfully decent human being. She is, as most people are, an amalgam of contradictions and conflicting identities, but her saving grace is that she is trying her best to figure it all out. The end result is to be determined, so the only fair thing to say about Piper, at this point, is that she is searching - for what feels real, for what resonates internally, and for herself. This journey of self-discovery is, unquestionably, gonna be one hell of a ride, and where she will end up is anybody's guess.
Piper herself has said that the truly scary part of prison is that it made her confront who she really is, and, at the moment, she cannot tell which "Piper" is the real one. At times, she can be exceedingly naive, narcissistic, snobbish, self-righteous, and just outright "mean," as Suzanne Warren concluded. At other times, she can be vulnerable, thoughtful, fun, brilliant, adorable, and a wonderfully decent human being. She is, as most people are, an amalgam of contradictions and conflicting identities, but her saving grace is that she is trying her best to figure it all out. The end result is to be determined, so the only fair thing to say about Piper, at this point, is that she is searching - for what feels real, for what resonates internally, and for herself. This journey of self-discovery is, unquestionably, gonna be one hell of a ride, and where she will end up is anybody's guess.
Table of Contents
Piper Chapman Personality, Traits, and Factoids
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Piper Chapman's Family
Believer in the power of jizz
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Cal Chapman (played by Michael Chernus) - brother and overall, the cool guy in the Chapman family. "Creative Cal" is a dude who openly states that he prefers beans to people and would just like to go sit in the woods and "fuck off." He's a progressive guy, who can talk all about the powers of edging, the nutritional benefits of human placenta, and important relationship dynamics - "Communication is key." As much as he does not want to be part of drama or his family's lives, he still is supportive of Piper, even though he doesn't always agree with her choices. Cal is pretty nonjudgmental and just wants people to do their own thing and be happy. He married an underwater welder, Neri, during his grandmother's funeral; assisted Piper in her panty-selling business; and is just generally trying to enjoy life, man.
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The pride of the family - who has nothing to do with the family
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Danny Chapman - brother of Piper and Cal, who has yet to be seen on-screen. Cal mentions him briefly as being a doctor and thus, making his parents proud (1.03, 41:17). In episode 1.01: I Wasn't Ready, a family picture sits in the living room, and presumably the extra dude in the picture is Dr. Danny. (see the picture to the left). Also, bro didn't even show up for his grandma's funeral (2.09).
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Does not believe in tutu-tutu intermingling
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Carol Chapman (played by Deborah Rush) - the matriarch and Stepford wife of the Chapman family. All she wants in life is for her kids to do things that sound pleasant in the family newsletter. She desperately wants Piper to get married, so she may have grandchildren, and despises Alex Vause for "stealing" that away from her. Cal tells us that at one point, she lived on "gin and cottage cheese" while her husband carried on his extra-marital affairs. So, not the happiest life. Yet, it does appear she sincerely cares about Piper and wants the best for her. She, at least, shows up to visit her in prison, though, typically, those visits do not go very well. She is neither villain, nor hero, in Piper's life, and eventually, I am betting we're going to see what side Mama Chapman chooses to stand on when Piper makes a choice that does not align with her own aspirations for her daughter.
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If your name is Linda, Bill Chapman would like you to call him
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Bill Chapman (played by Bill Hoag) - father of Piper Chapman. Growing up, Piper was her father's daughter, following every bit of wisdom he provided, but when Piper witnessed him cheating on her mother, it threw her faith in him into question, as he came off as a hypocrite.
His lone appearance in the first season takes place in the first episode, when Piper is explaining to her family the circumstances underlying her criminal charges. At that point, all he asked is whether Larry knew about this, but otherwise, remained quiet. Cal discloses that Bill slept with two women named Linda during their childhood, so, not a wonderfully faithful husband. He never visits Piper in prison, until season 3 (3.04: Finger in the Dyke) because he doesn't want to see her in that environment. Dude, get over yourself. He tells Piper that the woman in prison is not who his "little girl" is. Piper responds, "That's exactly who I am." On their last visit, Piper imitated sex sounds after revealing she and Alex have gotten back together...so, yeah, things are great between them. |
Believes in selling drugs for money, not love
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Celeste Chapman (played by Mary Looram) - Grandmother of Piper Chapman who we meet in the first episode, when Piper tells her family about her drug charges. During Piper's confession about her lesbian ex, Celeste tells Cal that she once kissed a girl named Mary Straley when she was younger, but it wasn't for her. Hey, good for you, grandma! Way to try it out and non-judgmentally come to your own conclusions! It doesn't even seem like her biggest disappointment in Piper's drug charges were what Piper did. Instead, she only seems annoyed that Piper didn't financially profit from the experience.
She urged Piper to make something of herself and not just anchor herself to a man, as she herself was a self-made woman. She was very proud of Piper, even after her criminal activity. Unfortunately, during season 2, she scrapes her foot while swimming laps in a pool, which leads to her being put on dialysis, and then an infection that she never recovers from. Piper is on the brink of going on furlough when her grandmother dies (2.08), leaving a void in Piper's life. RIP Celeste. |
Woman of mystery
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Polly Harper (played by Maria Dizzia) - Boy, oh boy. What to say about Polly...After the first season, I stated that while not technically a member of the Chapman family, she's more Piper's family than anyone else in Piper's life. After season 2, where Polly stands in Piper's life is unknown.
Historically, Polly has stuck by Piper's side through "thick and thin" and has always chosen Team Piper over any and everyone else, including Alex (aka Supercunt) and Larry. She's a pragmatist and tries to ground Piper when she thinks Piper's going off the rails. At the same time, she loves her and doesn't care about the gender of who Piper is sleeping with, only that they are making Piper happy. And then season 2 occurs...where Polly and Larry (what?!) end up getting together. She leaves her husband, Pete, and Larry and her decide to officially become a couple. She clearly feels very guilty about it, but that does not stop her from staying with Mr. Bloom. Regardless of my opinion of her current significant other, by the end of season 2, Piper asks Polly and/or Larry to report Alex to her probation officer, in an attempt to get Alex back in LCF with her. Larry balks at this request, but Polly (whether out of guilt or friendship or who knows?) agrees to do it. Polly is MIA from season 3 (boo, but also, yay, because that means no Larry Bloom). Whether she reappears again is unknown, but I'd like to see Polly and Piper mend fences, once Larry is given the boot. Please, Polly. Save yourself! |
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