Published on June 15, 2013
What's this I hear about a hockey player and my Myka?
Come out, come out, wherever you are...please...baby
I'm super horny
What do you mean Pete got Myka pregnant?!
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Episode 4.07: Endless Wonder
In a cruel twist of fate, H.G. Wells returns to the Warehouse, while Myka is off on a mission. This is the first time H.G. has ever appeared in a Warehouse 13 episode without interacting with Myka. It's like going to Disneyworld, but all of the rides are shut down and there's a strict "no hugging the characters" policy in effect. It's confusing and sad. Appearing right before the episode's close (41:21), H.G. waits outside the B&B like a bamf. She greets Artie with the eyebrow raise of eyebrow raises, which is saying something when we're talking about H.G. Wells/Jaime Murray. H.G.: "I presumed you'd rather we speak alone." Like a nervous school boy, Artie, replies, "You presumed right. Did you find the knife?" Before she answers, H.G. walks further into the B&B and stretches her neck out, looking into the rest of the house, presumably searching for a certain curly-haired agent. As no one else is around, she turns back to Artie, stating, "I have a few leads, but there's something we need to discuss first, something that's been on my mind." Artie, more scared than ever, "What would that be?" H.G.: "When you pled on my behalf to the Regents, I understand you spoke with great certainty that I would lay down my life for the Warehouse." Artie: "Yes, well, I'm a good judge of character." He says this while squeezing H.G. affectionately, as if he was not the man who once said he'd wish he'd let her freeze to death in Russia. Artie, this is fooling no one. H.G.: "Yes, you are." Wait for it. "But are you also a good judge of wheelchairs?" Oh snap, there it is. "You quite suddenly knew that Mr. Sykes had brought a bomb with him and precisely where it was hidden." Artie: "You know how long I've been doing this job? I had an instinct." Artie, please, you're embarrassing yourself. Raising the sass level from "moderate" to "high," H.G. admonishes him: "Artie, if there's one subject I'm rather a world-class expert on, it's time travel. Bit of an unhealthy obsession once really. The more I thought about it, the more I'm convinced it's the only explanation for your behavior." "No, it's not," sputters a completely freaked out Artie. H.G. just steamrolls right over his miserable attempts to deny her claims: "You knew things the rest of us couldn't because you'd been ahead in time and come back again." Officially giving up on continuing his charade that fooled no one, Artie falls back into his chair and says, "You can't tell anyone." H.G.: "I already have." Damn H.G., no one should keep secrets from you. Not only do you uncover them, but then you start spreading them as well. Artie, panic-stricken: "Oh my God, what have you done?" H.G.: "I've shared my suspicions with Mrs. Frederic. Artie, I don't know why you've been keeping this a secret, but I believe you used Magellan's astrolabia." Whoa! That's like running immediately to your mom. Give a dude a chance to try and come clean first. Also, I gotta say, H.G. and Myka are superb guessers. Myka guessed that H.G. was a "holographic projection" in 3.01: The New Guy, and H.G. just nailed Artie's secret - what happened, which artifact was used, and when it was used. I am never playing Clue with either of them. As he does in almost every episode since 4.01: A New Hope, Artie flashes back to Brother Adrian ominously warning, "Anyone you tell [about your use of the astrolabia] will be in grave danger!" I swear, for the first half of season 4, Brother Adrian is the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come for Warehouse 13, creeping around and freaking Artie out about what will happen if he doesn't change. Shit's getting real tired. |
If I don't get me some H.G. soon, I'm going to lose it!
These stupid liars told me Myka would be here
Blurry H.G.
Who's that hot blurry chick sitting by Leena?
Do you think yelling "Not it!" will work?
I wish Myka could see how attractive I look right now
I'm sure I'll be back by the mid-season finale. I just have to be
As long as I don't become Emily Lake again, everything will be fine
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Episode 4.08: Second Chance
Yay, a second episode with Jaime Murray, and with a title like that, I'm sure this episode will have some Bering and Wells in it! *excitedly skips through the 4.08: Second Chance door and immediately falls into a mine shaft of despair Nope. No Bering and Wells here. Sigh. Oh well, H.G. Wells is still on my screen, so time to buck up. The episode begins with a suspicious Myka hounding Artie to divulge all the details relating to the Brother Adrian attacks on the Warehouse. In true Artie fashion, he deflects and shoves Pete and Myka out the door towards a new mission in West Virginia. Minutes later, in walk H.G. and Leena. Ah, Warehouse 13, why?! Why must you separate these two young kids in love? Sigh number two. Anyways, together, Mrs. F, H.G., and Leena ("Team Alpha Ovary") triple team Artie into submission regarding the use of the astrolabia. He sits down and gets a case of the shifty-eyes. Mrs. F inquires, "How could you take such a risk with so formidable an artifact?" Artie blurts out, "I had no choice! The Warehouse was gone! You were gone. You too, H.G. You saved Pete; you saved Myka; and me, but you were killed." H.G. reacts to this with an, "Oh shiz, I didn't realize it was that bad" type of look. Putting the pieces together, she states to Artie, "That's why you pled to the Regents on my behalf." Artie confirms this with a gentle nod. Mrs. Frederic: "And the Ytterbium chamber?" Artie: "Was destroyed." H.G.: "Pandora's Box?" Artie: "Gone." Leena: "What about hope?" Artie: "All gone!" Yeah, Team Alpha Ovary. It was bleak; you don't know the half of it. You guys may not remember 4.01: A New Hope, but we all do. I wish H.G. would have asked, "And Myka?" so that Artie could have yelled out, "Sobbing like a baby! Dead inside! And she also admitted that she loved you in a very broken tone..." Like an insecure child, Artie looks to Team Alpha Ovary, asking, "Did I do wrong?" Mrs. F, visibly upset by Artie's revelations, replies, "No...I would have done the same, but Arthur, what are the repercussions?" Of course, this results in the Brother Adrian warning being conveyed for the 9,000th time this season. Cue the dramatic looks! Out in West Virginia, Pete and Myka are investigating an artifact when they Farnsworth Artie for an update. Tiring of the conversation, Mrs. Frederic grabs the Farnsworth from Artie and barks at Pete and Myka to just handle the case themselves. Well, someone's not getting a "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug this year. When she does this, the Farnsworth screen scans the room and H.G. is totes visible! Not uber clear...but she's still there. How does baby Myka - you know, the super observant one - not see her? Sigh number three. After Artie continues to discuss "the evil that will live with him for the rest of his days," H.G. and Mrs. F quickly cut through the b.s., guessing that the "evil" is Brother Adrian himself. Mrs. F leaves to see if she can contact the Brotherhood through alternate means, and while H.G. is walking out, Artie says, "This is not how I wanted to handle this, and you know it." Oh Artie, stop being ridiculous. How were you handling it? Being spazzy is not a gameplan. Also, did you not learn from season 1 that trying to tackle a problem on your own never ends well? Get over yourself. H.G.: "Artie..." Artie: "I trusted you!" H.G.: "I'm trying to help you! Nobody understands the perils of time travel artifacts like I do. I've already lost two agents because of them. I won't lose you too." When did you guys start becoming butt-buddies? Artie: "I hope you're right, but there's no turning back now." I don't even know what that last part means. At the very end of the episode, we find ourselves in the Dark Vault of the Warehouse, with Mrs. Frederic and H.G. retrieving the astrolabia from Artie's hiding place. H.G. states, "I don't know how comfortable I feel not telling him." This from the lady who told Artie she would keep his secret and then turned around and told Mrs. Frederic? Oh H.G., sure, we'll go with that. Mrs. Frederic: "It's for his own safety. The less Arthur knows about the whereabouts of the astrolabia, the better it is for all of us. Take this and disappear." You could, at least, say "please." Geez. Disappointed, H.G. tells Mrs. F, "I'd rather stay here and help you with the Brotherhood." And by "help you with the Brotherhood," we all know she means, "lock it down with my girlfriend Myka so she doesn't have to resort to hockey player desperation." Mrs. Frederic stands firm, though, and H.G. prepares for the loneliest vacation ever. Making sure her trip really is the worst, Mrs. F states, "I'll try to settle this with the Brotherhood. In the meantime, you cannot communicate with any of us. The Brotherhood will apparently stop at nothing to force Arthur to use the astrolabia again." Well, this is lovely, while the Warehouse is fighting its gang war with the Brotherhood, poor H.G., who has nothing in this world other than the Warehouse, is being sent off by herself and is banned from speaking to anyone she knows. H.G. gives a sad nod, acknowledging Mrs. F's directives, and then she turns to leave. "You can trust no one," reiterates Mrs. Frederic. OKAY, WE GET IT MRS. F. THANK YOU. I'm surprised Mrs. Frederic doesn't go on to add, "You will be sad and alone for God knows how long," just to really make sure H.G. understands how awful a task she has been given. H.G. gives an even sadder nod and finally departs from the Dark Vault. So, H.G. has been banished to the Forbidden Forest for an indefinite span of time, without any friends other than the astrolabia. Of course, we could have some kind of a Cast Away situation, where the astrolabia becomes Wilson-esque, but I'd rather have Dickens accompany H.G. than that stupid piece of metal. We also have the second episode ever where H.G. Wells appears, but without any Bering and Wells interactions. Why God, why? The Bering and Wells god is a fickle god, and apparently in season 4, we have angered it. Hopefully, H.G. returns for the mid-season finale because as long as H.G. has been on the show, she's always participated in the season openers and finales. It's the one constant! I'm sure of it! *excitedly skips out the 4.08: Second Chance door towards the 4.10: We All Fall Down door (hmmm...that title doesn't sound super rosy...whatever, I'm sure it'll be fine) |