Continued from Page 1 of Bering and Wells Episode 4.15: Instinct Recap
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After tangling with Emily Lake 2.0, Pete and Myka walk into the police station hallway, with Myka asking, "So, what are we missing?" In a reasonable response, Pete replies, "I don't know. The artifact, the perpetrator, just about everything at this point."
Myka, in frustration: "No, with H.G. She wants to give up a life of endless wonder to be a normal person. She is not a normal person. She's H.G. Wells!" Oh Pete, it's time to learn how to listen and respond to "processing" because you have a massive helping coming your way. 
Pete = Helpless Wingman
Pete, trying to help his buddy: "Well, maybe she just doesn't want to end up evil, crazy, or dead." Ouch. Whether Myka was even listening to him or not, Pete touched on one of Myka's recurrent fears: that Warehouse agents always end up going insane, becoming a bad guy, or going out in a body bag. (She's mentioned this in episodes 1.06, 2.05, and 4.06.) I think Pete's right - somewhat (wow, never thought I'd say that) - in that H.G. is making choices based on fear. Whether those choices are right or wrong, or true to H.G. is an entirely different matter. What is indisputably true is that Myka's heart has already taken quite a beating and we're only seven minutes into the episode. Get your preferred coping mechanism and a nearby oxygen tank ready because we're still not in the belly of the beast yet.
After Pete and Myka do some more digging about the potential artifact in play, Artie tells them to hunt down a video of the victims post-artifact interaction, so he can narrow down what may be the source of all the mayhem. Myka, in a see-through move, tells Pete, "So, great, you go interview the family, and...I think I know how to get that video." She sends Pete to chase after a dead end lead, while she...well, you know how I referred to the belly of the beast above? It's time to meet it!
Innocent as a lamb Myka decides it's put up or shut up time, and we find her on the doorstep of H.G.'s new home. I gotta hand it to her. She dumped Pete off somewhere, came up with a legitimate excuse to speak to H.G. (even though H.G. told her not to), and somehow got a hold of H.G.'s new address, as H.G. obviously did not give it to her. If you had never seen the show before this moment, you'd swear Myka was going on a date. She looks nervous, is wringing her hands, and when the door opens to H.G.'s face, she squeaks out an adorable, "Hi! Helena..."
Unfortunately, she's greeted by a nightmare of a response: "Uh, Myka, what are you doing here? I asked you to leave me out of this." She does this while frowning and closing the front door, as if Myka's some unwanted solicitor she wants to get rid of. Rude! Jesus, H.G., come on, man. I mean, it's Myka Bering at your door. If Myka Bering showed up at my door and I somehow remained conscious (odds are against that happening), I would do everything in my power to thank the gods for this gift of a lifetime and I would sure as Hell invite her in, providing her Twizzlers and hiding any tentacle-ish like items in my abode. Where's your British etiquette? Surprised by H.G.'s cold response, Myka falls back on her Plan B statement, justifying, "Helena, it's just that we need help. There's no..." And then, like a scene from a horror movie, we hear a voice from inside the house asking, "Emily, everything okay?" The door opens and the monsters reveal themselves:
Oh, hello! Would you both kindly tell me who the fuck you are? Apparently, H.G. tells us their names, but I will just refer to the man as Beard and the young girl as Christina 2.0. That's as much as I can do at this point.
H.G. awkwardly stutters and tries to introduce Myka to her new Stepford family, "Um, this is..." Christina 2.0 interrupts, "A dear old friend of Emily's...who she hasn't seen in a long time...and is surprised to see now. You're a police officer or something like the police. You and Emily solved cases together and you went on amazing adventures." Oh, that's not annoying at all. 
H.G. and my kids will be soooo much cuter than you
Myka, reminding herself that violence against children is disfavored, asks, "How did you...?" Cutting in again, Christina 2.0 lectures, "Well, the old friends part is obvious from your body language." Uh kid, if you were that great a detective, you'd be discovering a whole lot more from their body language than just "old friends." Walter Sykes did a better job than you did. Also, her name is "H.G./Helena" not "Emily." You don't even know her real name. Not such a hot shot gumshoe now are you, Inspector Gadget?
Like a runaway train of bad parenting, Christina 2.0 continues, "The surprise I could just see on Emily's face. So, you must be here from out of town. And I knew you were something like police cause, well, you're wearing a badge!" During this declaration of "obvious things that everyone with an I.Q. over 4 can see with their own eyes," H.G. and Beard give each other smug looks of adoration over Christina 2.0. Their looks make me lose my appetite, while simultaneously giving me the urge to binge eat/drink the pain away. Lovely. Beard proudly says, "Emily taught her that." Then shame on you, Emily. Gosh, that was horrifying to sit through. Myka gives a fake laugh and smile to this ridiculous statement, saying, "Ah."
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For some unknown reason, H.G. adds, "One correction. There were no amazing adventures. Myka and I were just roommates at Iowa Tech." Uh, excusez-moi? Did my ears deceive me? We're pulling this shitshow to the side of the road right now.
1st) Why would you ever deny you and Myka's "amazing adventures"?! It doesn't hurt your oh so brilliant cover at all. Instead, you're just squashing the awesomeness that has occurred between you two. That's so not cool. 2nd) Roommates at college?! H.G., that's the universal code for "We were big lesbians together"! Even my mom knows that means you guys were gaying it up. Pick a better faux backstory for you and Myka. Or...wait, no, stop lying and get away from this bizarre, bizarre place you have somehow found yourself in! It's like a cult, but worse. 3) Iowa Tech? How the heck did you pick that as your good ole' university of yesteryear? No wonder the Regents had to set up Emily Lake 1.0 in her made-up life because clearly, you are not capable of doing so yourself.
Instead of just asking H.G., "What the fuck are you talking about Helena?" Myka rolls with the punches and says, "Right. Crazy days on the quad," to which H.G. laughs like she's high on pot or something. When Myka goes along with H.G.'s insane lie, it's reminiscent of when Myka lied about H.G. being an agent under her in 2.07: For the Team. Only that was super fun and flirty, and this is just spirit-killing.
Christina 2.0 comments, "Someday, I'm going to go on amazing adventures." H.G. responds, "Yes, you will..." in a way that makes it seem like she finished that sentence in her head as "...and I will be the one to send you there, you little shit." Beard and Christina 2.0 head back into their house of horrors, and Myka rightly gives H.G. a WTF look. Well-earned!
1st) Why would you ever deny you and Myka's "amazing adventures"?! It doesn't hurt your oh so brilliant cover at all. Instead, you're just squashing the awesomeness that has occurred between you two. That's so not cool. 2nd) Roommates at college?! H.G., that's the universal code for "We were big lesbians together"! Even my mom knows that means you guys were gaying it up. Pick a better faux backstory for you and Myka. Or...wait, no, stop lying and get away from this bizarre, bizarre place you have somehow found yourself in! It's like a cult, but worse. 3) Iowa Tech? How the heck did you pick that as your good ole' university of yesteryear? No wonder the Regents had to set up Emily Lake 1.0 in her made-up life because clearly, you are not capable of doing so yourself.
Instead of just asking H.G., "What the fuck are you talking about Helena?" Myka rolls with the punches and says, "Right. Crazy days on the quad," to which H.G. laughs like she's high on pot or something. When Myka goes along with H.G.'s insane lie, it's reminiscent of when Myka lied about H.G. being an agent under her in 2.07: For the Team. Only that was super fun and flirty, and this is just spirit-killing.
Christina 2.0 comments, "Someday, I'm going to go on amazing adventures." H.G. responds, "Yes, you will..." in a way that makes it seem like she finished that sentence in her head as "...and I will be the one to send you there, you little shit." Beard and Christina 2.0 head back into their house of horrors, and Myka rightly gives H.G. a WTF look. Well-earned!
What fiery ring of Hell have I fallen into?
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Look how happy I am
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