Continued from Page 2 of Episode 3.11: Emily Lake
On the way back to the Warehouse, Pete turns to Myka, hesitantly: "Hey Myka. I have a thought about a way to protect the Warehouse, but..."
Myka: "But what?"
Pete: "But you might not like it." Understatement of the century, bro.
Myka: "But what?"
Pete: "But you might not like it." Understatement of the century, bro.
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Myka, setting herself up: "Well, if it protects the Warehouse, I like it already. What is it?" Pete takes a dramatic turn into the shire, and the shiz is about to hit the fan. Pete, Myka, and Claudia disembark from their snazzy Toyota (I gotta throw them props), and as they enter the Forest of Angst, Pete drops the bomb: "We've got to destroy the Janus coin." Claudia, realizing the magnitude of this statement, looks nervously at Myka, who just looks stunned. "What?" she asks, not believing what she just heard. Pete: "I know that you're gonna think this is personal." No shit, Sherlock. Myka: "How could I not? You're...you're talking about killing a human being." Pete: "No, I'm talking about destroying the thing that Sykes is after. We can |
Are you f***ing kidding me?
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stop him. Right here! Right now!" Seriously, Pete, refer to H.G. or anyone as a "thing" again and we're donezo.
Myka, horrified by her partner: "She has one of the greatest minds in history! It would be like burning down a library with a friend trapped inside!"
In the background, Claudia just stands there, uncomfortably watching her parents argue. Then Pete decides to cement his place as "asshole of the episode," by stating, "I know, but we're at war, and, unfortunately, wars have casualties." Shut. The. Front. Door. Peter Lattimer, don't you dare think you can spew that ridiculous b.s. to anyone, particularly Myka. You're better than that.
Myka correctly responds: "No."
Pete: "Okay, so you're willing to live with the possibility that Sykes might get what he wants?"
Let's stop right there. First, if you're advocating that the team should just destroy anything that Sykes wants as a protective measure - then destroy the Collodi bracelet and while we're at it, you know, the Warehouse. Second, you're Warehouse 13 agents for God's sakes! If your only defense when being attacked is to get rid of a bad guy's potential weapons instead of facing him head on, then quit while you're behind. Every episode you are saving the world in insanely amazing ways against a range of formidable opponents, but now, with a former member of the Brat Pack staring you down, it's time to lose our minds Oh, please. Man up, Lattimer.
Myka, horrified by her partner: "She has one of the greatest minds in history! It would be like burning down a library with a friend trapped inside!"
In the background, Claudia just stands there, uncomfortably watching her parents argue. Then Pete decides to cement his place as "asshole of the episode," by stating, "I know, but we're at war, and, unfortunately, wars have casualties." Shut. The. Front. Door. Peter Lattimer, don't you dare think you can spew that ridiculous b.s. to anyone, particularly Myka. You're better than that.
Myka correctly responds: "No."
Pete: "Okay, so you're willing to live with the possibility that Sykes might get what he wants?"
Let's stop right there. First, if you're advocating that the team should just destroy anything that Sykes wants as a protective measure - then destroy the Collodi bracelet and while we're at it, you know, the Warehouse. Second, you're Warehouse 13 agents for God's sakes! If your only defense when being attacked is to get rid of a bad guy's potential weapons instead of facing him head on, then quit while you're behind. Every episode you are saving the world in insanely amazing ways against a range of formidable opponents, but now, with a former member of the Brat Pack staring you down, it's time to lose our minds Oh, please. Man up, Lattimer.
Myka is having approximately 0% of your shit, Lattimer
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Myka : "H.G. would never help him." She says this in a way where as soon as the words leave her mouth, it becomes an irrefutable statement of fact that no one with half a brain would challenge.
Enter Pete Lattimer: "Myka, the man has proven he can get information from anyone. Even Steeeeeeve is working for him." This is a massive tactical blunder, invoking the wrath of a gay's main hag. "No, he's not. I know he's not," interjects Claudia. Facing two angry women protecting their gays, Pete is now |
flailing in disaster. He yells at them, "Okay, just hold up! Both of you! We have to deal with reality." Claudia, showing Pete how much she cares about his wartime speech, abruptly turns and marches off towards the car. Pete, looking more and more like an angry father who doesn't understand his daughters, screams, "Wait, Claudia! CLAUDIA!" That works about as well as you think it
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might. It doesn't.
Addressing the only person left, he whines, "Myka, I'm just thinking of the greater good." Yes, Pete, you are the father of utilitarianism, the savior of the world. As if he would reach the same conclusion if his ex-wife Amanda or mother were at risk. He wouldn't. Gah, Pete, I can't stand when I can't stand you! That insane statement results in the face to the right. Continuing Campaign: Damage My Personal Relationships, he continues to plead the case for destroying "it"/H.G.: "As long as that coin exists, it can be used against the Warehouse." In no uncertain terms, Myka puts her big lesbian foot down: "The answer is still 'no.' We cannot...I WILL NOT destroy H.G. Wells!" *lesbian applause |
Myka Bering (face of the people)
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For some reason, Pete is surprised by Myka's unwillingness to end the life of the woman she loves and the two arrive at a stalemate. Then from behind Myka, a delightful British voice intervenes, "May I offer an opinion?"
H.G. appears behind them and Angry Hag #1 explains, "I figured she should be part of this discussion." Oh Claud, you deserve a GLAAD award for all you do for our community.
Myka, butching it up, grunts, "There is no discussion."
H.G.: "Agreed, if you truly want to protect the Warehouse, you must destroy the coin."
Whaaaaaaaat?!
Myka looks like someone shot her puppy. A lot.
H.G. goes on, "Destroy the coin and whatever Sykes wants from me will be lost with it." Baby, shhhhh...baby, no. Don't say that.
H.G. appears behind them and Angry Hag #1 explains, "I figured she should be part of this discussion." Oh Claud, you deserve a GLAAD award for all you do for our community.
Myka, butching it up, grunts, "There is no discussion."
H.G.: "Agreed, if you truly want to protect the Warehouse, you must destroy the coin."
Whaaaaaaaat?!
Myka looks like someone shot her puppy. A lot.
H.G. goes on, "Destroy the coin and whatever Sykes wants from me will be lost with it." Baby, shhhhh...baby, no. Don't say that.
"The price is too high."
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Struggling with the fact that H.G. is agreeing to sacrifice her life, Myka processes out loud: "But...you'd be gone...you'd be dead."
Then, unable to say what she truly feels in front of the team, Myka turns away from them and in a moment of complete vulnerability, she says softly, "The price is too high." At the end of this statement, her eyes look up, as if to wonder if they all realize what's really behind her refusal to let H.G. die. And this is where I start to drink heavily. |
Claudia, a big Bering and Wells shipper herself, proceeds to have a mini-emotional breakdown in the background, while observing her OTP struggling to survive.
In response to Myka's heartbreaking admission of how important H.G. is to her, Pete utters the most infuriating question ever: "What about Emily Lake?"
What ABOUT Emily Lake?!
He goes on, "If Sykes thinks he can put her back together, she's in a lot of danger."
Well, Pete, you're in danger of me murdering you. "She" is not real. Please do not pretend that you care about the well-being of a weird cardigan-wearing shell of a Regent puppet that you've known for about four minutes. If someone ever argued in support of my death to save a bizarro clone of myself that has existed for a blink of an eye, I would be taking bitches out. Unfortunately, H.G. "Martyr" Wells is committed to paying for her sins by going along with Pete's insane plan.
In response to Myka's heartbreaking admission of how important H.G. is to her, Pete utters the most infuriating question ever: "What about Emily Lake?"
What ABOUT Emily Lake?!
He goes on, "If Sykes thinks he can put her back together, she's in a lot of danger."
Well, Pete, you're in danger of me murdering you. "She" is not real. Please do not pretend that you care about the well-being of a weird cardigan-wearing shell of a Regent puppet that you've known for about four minutes. If someone ever argued in support of my death to save a bizarro clone of myself that has existed for a blink of an eye, I would be taking bitches out. Unfortunately, H.G. "Martyr" Wells is committed to paying for her sins by going along with Pete's insane plan.
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H.G.: "Destroy me, and she'll be of no value to him." At this point, it is the whole team and H.G. trying to convince Myka to allow this to happen. H.G. continues, "Myka, you say she's a teacher...and her students love her..." to which Myka gives a small empty nod, "then let me live on through her."
Pete, adding something no one cares about: "We can rescue Emily Lake. I can promise you that." H.G.: "I have every confidence that you will." Internally, she is also thinking, "I also don't give a flying f*** whether you do or do not." Claudia, who is now just basically an audience member like the rest of us, continues to lose her mind in the background. |
If you say "Emily Lake" one more time, I will come back and haunt you
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H.G.: "Myka, we have to think rationally and not emotionally...and quickly, before I remember that I'm not this noble."
Pete: "It's the right thing to do, Myka. You know that, don't you?" PETE, PLEASE GO PLAY IN A RIVER OF FIRE. Myka looks at him as if she is considering whether or not she should castrate him on the spot.
Unable to look at Myka's sad face anymore, H.G. tries to get this over with, saying, "Pete, um, I think you'll have to be the one to..."
Pete: "It's the right thing to do, Myka. You know that, don't you?" PETE, PLEASE GO PLAY IN A RIVER OF FIRE. Myka looks at him as if she is considering whether or not she should castrate him on the spot.
Unable to look at Myka's sad face anymore, H.G. tries to get this over with, saying, "Pete, um, I think you'll have to be the one to..."
Myka: Look at dat ass
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"I know. I will," he cuts in. Pete, at least pretend to act like you don't want to end her life. Possibly realizing he's been wrong about H.G., he says, "Thanks for everything, Helena." This is the only time Pete refers to H.G. as "Helena," as if this makes up for everything, including pushing for her death.
H.G. then turns to Claudia, while Myka is literally holding herself in the foreground. Mirroring Myka's goodbye comment to Claudia in 2.12, H.G. tells Claud: "I regret I won't be here to see you reach your destiny. It will surely be a glorious one." This statement shows that H.G. really gets Claudia and also how much she genuinely cares about her - more so than many other people, even though H.G. has been around her a very small amount of time. Claudia, trying to play the compliment off, replies, "I don't know about that." H.G.: "Then you're the only one." Oh Lord, help me. Claudia, as any normal person would, loses it at this statement. |
Finally, we turn to Myka, who is visibly crying. H.G., trying to appear positive for Myka's sake: "How do you say 'goodbye' to the one person who knows you better than anyone else?"
Myka: "I wish I knew." She says this while doing this thing with her eyes, which inexplicably adds a whole new level of "Oh my God" to this already intense subtext-y/ main text-y situation.
And we're pausing again. H.G., who has spent relatively minimal time with Myka in the grand scheme of things, just said Myka knows her better than anyone else. Then Myka reciprocates the sentiment. If you watch this scene and conclude that H.G. and Myka are "just really good friends," you apparently have undergone a lobotomy. The way they look, speak, and interact with each other is drenched in love, unspoken (maybe even to themselves until now) and I don't believe acted on, but that's what makes this even more heart-wrenching. They don't have the time or opportunity to address all of the "stuff" between them, particularly with an audience, so they have to convey their thoughts and feelings to each other in a non-explicit manner and on a timeline that neither expected.
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So, everything hurts right now. This is one of the most Bering and Wells moments you can get.
H.G., to Myka: "Be brave. I need your strength." She tries to give Myka a reassuring smile before she steps back, saying, "The last thing I want to see is the sky." H.G. grabs her locket, raises her head, and soon enough, she evaporates back into the prison orb.
Claudia, on the edge of meltdown #63, hands the Janus coin over to Pete. Myka looks sternly at Pete and says, "I can't watch this." Claudia gasps out a "me neither," and the two women walk off, arms around each other.
H.G., to Myka: "Be brave. I need your strength." She tries to give Myka a reassuring smile before she steps back, saying, "The last thing I want to see is the sky." H.G. grabs her locket, raises her head, and soon enough, she evaporates back into the prison orb.
Claudia, on the edge of meltdown #63, hands the Janus coin over to Pete. Myka looks sternly at Pete and says, "I can't watch this." Claudia gasps out a "me neither," and the two women walk off, arms around each other.
So, are they upset or something?
Pete prepares to destroy the Janus coin, when suddenly evil Marcus and turncoat Steve show up, stopping H.G.'s execution.
A lot goes on, but all you need to know is that: 1) Bad guys take the Janus coin/H.G.; 2) Pete is forced to throw a massive boulder at Myka's skull (but she's totes fine, which is ridiculous); and 3) Jinksy is actually a double agent, still working for the Warehouse, but on the inside of Sykes' operation. Yay! Hags rejoice! The gay is good! The gay is good!
A lot goes on, but all you need to know is that: 1) Bad guys take the Janus coin/H.G.; 2) Pete is forced to throw a massive boulder at Myka's skull (but she's totes fine, which is ridiculous); and 3) Jinksy is actually a double agent, still working for the Warehouse, but on the inside of Sykes' operation. Yay! Hags rejoice! The gay is good! The gay is good!
Continue to Page 4 of Episode 3.11: Emily Lake