Pete, they're laughing at you, not with you
At the start of 2.11: Buried, Pete seeks out the ladies (minus Leena) who are all hanging out in the library together, presumably reciting Sappho's poetry or analyzing Gertrude Stein's works. He asks them for relationship advice regarding his girlfriend Kelly, but then begins to question that decision because, as he puts it, the three of them are "not exactly relationship success stories." Oh Pete, what would compel you to say that out loud in front of them? Have you learned anything from the Pete Massacre in 2.09: Vendetta?
Regardless, the women balk at this statement, and H.G. offers up, "I know a thing or two about the opposite sex. Many of my lovers were men." And there we have it folks - a massive dousing of gasoline onto the already blazing Bering and Wells fire. We now have the canonical bisexual character, H.G. Wells.
Regardless, the women balk at this statement, and H.G. offers up, "I know a thing or two about the opposite sex. Many of my lovers were men." And there we have it folks - a massive dousing of gasoline onto the already blazing Bering and Wells fire. We now have the canonical bisexual character, H.G. Wells.
Look at the shit-eating smirks these two have at H.G.'s comment. Oh my shipper heart.
|
|
Soon afterwards, Pete is in the Warehouse with Mrs. Frederic when she begins speaking mumbo-jumbo. He yells for help, and H.G. and Myka come running out of another room, looking disheveled, in a post-coital type of way. The team deciphers Mrs. Frederic's ominous warning and are then alerted to some very nasty pings: three Americans dying in Egypt in a presumably artifact-related manner.
Pete, Myka, and H.G. head to one of the victim's family's homes to try and gain some clues about what's going on. When they are speaking with a distraught mother of a victim, H.G. looks very uncomfortable and stays standing by the door, instead of sitting with Myka and Pete. Myka, in a very gay vest I must say, glances up at her with a look of concern - or maybe a look of doubt - and H.G. eventually just leaves the room to find the victim's younger sister. H.G. warmly speaks with her and soon discovers a picture from the victim, showing the girl's brother standing in front of a wall of hieroglyphs. H.G. points the picture out to Myka when she comes in to check on her.
The hieroglyphs clue the Warehouse into the source of the trouble - the lost Warehouse, Warehouse 2, has been discovered and is now "online." Its existence threatens Warehouse 13 and Mrs. Frederic, as caretaker. The team heads off to Alexandria, Egypt to shut it down before the current Warehouse and its caretaker are destroyed.
Pete, Myka, and H.G. head to one of the victim's family's homes to try and gain some clues about what's going on. When they are speaking with a distraught mother of a victim, H.G. looks very uncomfortable and stays standing by the door, instead of sitting with Myka and Pete. Myka, in a very gay vest I must say, glances up at her with a look of concern - or maybe a look of doubt - and H.G. eventually just leaves the room to find the victim's younger sister. H.G. warmly speaks with her and soon discovers a picture from the victim, showing the girl's brother standing in front of a wall of hieroglyphs. H.G. points the picture out to Myka when she comes in to check on her.
The hieroglyphs clue the Warehouse into the source of the trouble - the lost Warehouse, Warehouse 2, has been discovered and is now "online." Its existence threatens Warehouse 13 and Mrs. Frederic, as caretaker. The team heads off to Alexandria, Egypt to shut it down before the current Warehouse and its caretaker are destroyed.
|
In Alexandria, Egypt, the agents search for a Warehouse Regent to assist them on the mission. While looking in a market, Myka and H.G.'s hands get pretty cuddly. Yes, this fandom has resorted to chaste handporn to tide itself over, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I regret nothing.
The team runs into Regent Valda who takes them to the Lost Warehouse's site. Before they begin, Myka takes some time to inquire about H.G.'s daughter Christina, seemingly trying to open H.G. up even more. The team then preps to go into Warehouse 2. While Regent Valda discusses the logistics of the mission, Myka quickly glances at H.G. and later does it again as H.G. departs the tent they are all in. Pete tells Myka he has to go make a call, so Myka exits the tent as well, leading to another epic moment in Bering and Wells history. Outside the tent, |
H.G. is slowly unbuttoning the long jacket she is wearing, revealing a Lara Croft-like outfit. Myka does a double-take and then proceeds to ogle H.G., with her head and neck noticeably bulging out at the sight before her. H.G. notices Myka's look and asks, in a very British way, "What? I checked. This is what fashionable British archaeologists are wearing nowadays." Myka, still unabashedly ogling, responds, "No, it's what American filmmakers think fashionable British archaeologists are wearing nowadays." With some disappointment at this revelation, H.G. says, "Oh, really?" She soon concludes, though, "Well, it is ever so comfy," and then strides away as if she's a lesbian John Wayne. Behind her, Myka, with her eyes still glued to H.G., smiles goofily, shaking her head, and rubbing her neck, like a woman in love. And people think they are just friends?! Or that Myka likes Pete?! Are we watching the same show?! (Rant over)
Myka: "I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight."
|
H.G.: "Yeah, das right. Enjoy."
|
Look at this big homo
|
The team finally descends into Warehouse 2, set to face three challenges: Mind, Body, Soul. The Mind game is the first one up and is the Egyptian version of the peg-jumping game that Cracker Barrel puts on all of its tables. Pete hilariously figures it out and after he and Myka share a brotp fist bump-like gesture, the four of them move on to the next challenge: Body.
That's my girlfriend
The Body challenge is your typical super scary obstacle course, complete with burning fires from below and swinging pieces of metal that are very good at inducing death. Pete, who apparently does not yearn to live long, attempts to overcome the challenge using his "karate" skills, you know, the ones he saw from a movie when he was eight years old. He, of course, almost dies, while Regent Valda, Myka, and H.G. just stand and watch in second-hand embarrassment for Pete.
H.G. instead whips out her grappling hook and creates a line going over the pit of death. Myka looks up at her lovingly, saying, "The grappler, don't leave home without it." H.G. removes her belt and says to Myka, "Shall we?" Myka nods with a "why not?" look and proceeds to remove her own belt. Just reading these last three lines makes it seem like something delightfully "Mature" and fan-fiction-y is about to happen. Sadly, the women just use the belts to zip line across the challenge, leaving the men to figure it out and follow.
Pete makes it safely across, but Regent Valda, after reading a hieroglyphic message, "One must die," sacrifices himself to the pit of doom. The team responds in horror, but must move on to the final challenge, the Soul challenge.
H.G. instead whips out her grappling hook and creates a line going over the pit of death. Myka looks up at her lovingly, saying, "The grappler, don't leave home without it." H.G. removes her belt and says to Myka, "Shall we?" Myka nods with a "why not?" look and proceeds to remove her own belt. Just reading these last three lines makes it seem like something delightfully "Mature" and fan-fiction-y is about to happen. Sadly, the women just use the belts to zip line across the challenge, leaving the men to figure it out and follow.
Pete makes it safely across, but Regent Valda, after reading a hieroglyphic message, "One must die," sacrifices himself to the pit of doom. The team responds in horror, but must move on to the final challenge, the Soul challenge.
I need a life
In the final challenge, the agents are all put into a trance-like state, where they each start to fantasize about their happiest places. Pete finds himself with his girlfriend Kelly; H.G. is back in a room with her daughter Christina; and Myka...well, in a sad turn of events...Myka's happiest place apparently is at work, receiving a difficult detail-laden mission from Artie, while being praised for her job performance. Oh Myka, baby, no. Just no.
The challenge puts them all in the trance to distract them from a disintegrating floor, leading to a black abyss. Myka, thank God, is the first one of them to break out of her daydream, and she quickly yanks Pete and H.G. out of theirs, preventing their deaths. When she yanks H.G. out of her dream with Christina, H.G., still disoriented, mom-grabs Myka, upset by the loss of her daughter. Myka understands and without flinching, lets herself be pulled until H.G. refocuses. Myka then Katniss Everdeens the shit out of the challenge by launching a torch at the stone face Medusa on the wall, hitting it right in the eyes, and disabling the challenge. Peeta, I mean, Pete stands there while Myka's doing this, with a face of, "Wow, you're really strong. I'm so glad you're my partner." She is Pete, she absolutely is.
Then Pete decides it's the perfect time for a girl talk with Myka, telling her that he's realized Kelly is "the one." Instead of telling him, "Who cares? We're about to die. What is wrong with you?" Myka kindly says, "Good," and turns to move the team forward. H.G., though, is engaged in heavy ugly-crying, traumatized by the experience of seeing and losing Christina again. While Pete "the One" Lattimer just stands there, doing nothing to help, Myka crouches down and comforts H.G.
The challenge puts them all in the trance to distract them from a disintegrating floor, leading to a black abyss. Myka, thank God, is the first one of them to break out of her daydream, and she quickly yanks Pete and H.G. out of theirs, preventing their deaths. When she yanks H.G. out of her dream with Christina, H.G., still disoriented, mom-grabs Myka, upset by the loss of her daughter. Myka understands and without flinching, lets herself be pulled until H.G. refocuses. Myka then Katniss Everdeens the shit out of the challenge by launching a torch at the stone face Medusa on the wall, hitting it right in the eyes, and disabling the challenge. Peeta, I mean, Pete stands there while Myka's doing this, with a face of, "Wow, you're really strong. I'm so glad you're my partner." She is Pete, she absolutely is.
Then Pete decides it's the perfect time for a girl talk with Myka, telling her that he's realized Kelly is "the one." Instead of telling him, "Who cares? We're about to die. What is wrong with you?" Myka kindly says, "Good," and turns to move the team forward. H.G., though, is engaged in heavy ugly-crying, traumatized by the experience of seeing and losing Christina again. While Pete "the One" Lattimer just stands there, doing nothing to help, Myka crouches down and comforts H.G.
It'd be weird to kiss her right now, right?
|
Aw, Myka's the best
|
H.G. pulls herself together and the trio forges ahead into the heart of Warehouse 2. Pete and Myka stay above to solve a puzzle, while H.G. explores the floor of the Warehouse. At one point, H.G. yells, "Myka, you have to see this!" and, of course, Myka obediently comes bounding after H.G. Oh no.
When Pete and Myka make it to the floor where H.G. is, they babble on about how awesome they are when H.G., who is facing away from them, says, "I do hope you can forgive me." Myka, the precious, naive, baby angel that she is, asks, "For what?" "This," answers H.G. harshly, as she whips around, Tesla in hand. Myka has a split second to react with her innocent Bambi-like face before H.G. Teslas both her and Pete.
When Pete and Myka make it to the floor where H.G. is, they babble on about how awesome they are when H.G., who is facing away from them, says, "I do hope you can forgive me." Myka, the precious, naive, baby angel that she is, asks, "For what?" "This," answers H.G. harshly, as she whips around, Tesla in hand. Myka has a split second to react with her innocent Bambi-like face before H.G. Teslas both her and Pete.
Not keeping this in the Bering and Wells scrapbook
|
Baby?
|
H.G. exits the stage, leaving unconscious Pete and Myka in the quickly deteriorating Warehouse 2. At least, she didn't laugh maniacally or kick their bodies while she left. I mean, that's a plus right? Sigh.