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Bering and Wells Episode 2.09: Vendetta

Episode 2.09: Vendetta begins with Pete and Myka learning of their former boss' gruesome murder. The team travels to Washington D.C. for his funeral, where Myka needs a moment alone. When sitting on a bench by herself in the cemetery, who should appear, but H.G. Wells.

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Myka: Look how tall I am
At first, like before, Myka is distant with H.G., yet she still is unwilling to report her to Artie or the Warehouse. After demanding again the reason why H.G. was bronzed, H.G admits the truth to Myka: H.G.'s daughter Christina had been murdered, and in a mad attempt to try and bring her back, H.G.'s actions resulted in the death of a fellow agent. She requested the Regents bronze her and they agreed, leading to her century-plus state that she came out of in 2.01: Time Will Tell. Feeing a bit douchey about forcing H.G.'s reasons for bronzing out of her, Myka promises H.G.: "I'll talk to Artie." H.G. gives Myka her contact info and slowly departs, while offering condolences to Myka about her former boss.

Afterwards, Myka, Pete, and Artie visit the NSA, the scene of the crime, to try and learn more about the circumstances of Dickinson's death. While there, Pete discovers surveillance videos showing H.G. entering into the building. Myka, upon seeing H.G.'s image on the surveillance camera, immediately goes straight into "Oh shit!" mode.


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Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit
As Artie begins to spin paranoid tales about H.G., Myka defends her, "Look, maybe she was here for other reasons!" Artie sassily responds, "Like what? Applying for a job?" Losing all control, Myka blurts out, "No, like hunting down whatever artifact that did this so she can prove herself and rejoin the warehouse." By the end of that sentence, I believe Myka has pooped her pants in her realization of what she just admitted.

Artie, stunned, asks, "Myka, how do you know that?" Knowing she has already said too much, Myka finishes, "I may have spoken to her." Pete, not really surprised, but still disappointed, whines, "Oh man, you've been talking to H.G.?"


Artie, in full angry hockey dad voice, interrogates Myka: "Let me understand this. You spoke to H.G. Wells about official Warehouse 13 matters and you didn't tell me?" Myka 

unsuccessfully tries to convince Artie that she was just "waiting for the right time." Artie continues, "You, of all people, you accused me of keeping secrets and then you go and do something like this?!" Pete jumps in to save Myka, resulting in Artie walking out. 

The trio follow up on the contact info H.G. gave Myka, leading them to the Archer hotel. A deleted scene shows H.G. watching them from another hotel room as they walk into the one she sent them to, allowing her to call them as soon as they enter. She offers Artie assistance on the mission in exchange for a "quid pro quo." Artie predictably refuses, but Myka implores, "Artie, wait, maybe she has some information." Artie: "She's a killer and she belongs in the bronze section!" "You don't know that!" screams Myka. Artie finally relents when Myka tells him that they need leads, and at this point, they have none. 

H.G.'s info has the team traveling to Russia in search of unresolved issues from Artie's past. When Pete and Myka lose Artie and feel they are being followed, they split up to see if they can discover who is tracking them. The camera shows someone watching Myka very closely, allowing Pete to find the culprit: H.G. She admits she placed a transmitter on Myka to follow (read: stalk) her and assist on the case. Myka, completely unsurprised to see H.G. there, walks up and without consulting anyone, tells H.G., "We could use your help." Pete interjects, "Myka, no. Artie would blow a gasket!" Myka quickly dismisses Artie's wishes: "Pete, we need help and she's here." She then continues in the flirtiest of flirty ways: "And for the record, I knew that you slipped this in my pocket at the cemetery." Giving as good as she gets, H.G. says while smirking: "I thought you'd know." Myka: "I knew that you'd think that I'd know." As the two giggle like preteens at a middle school dance, third wheel Pete tries to cut off their verbal foreplay, groaning, "Ohhhhh all right."
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Please tell me these two won't be "subtext" for much longer
H.G. shoots an annoyed look at Pete for this interruption, as if to say, "You're still here?" The women share information and quickly forget about Pete again. He has to ask, "Mind filling me in here?" Oh Pete, just ask Claudia. Your Bering and Wells third wheeldom has just begun.

The next time we see the three of them, Myka and H.G. are rummaging through Artie's bag full o' artifacts, with Pete uncomfortably standing by and watching. In a move he will quickly learn to regret, he screams at the women, "Do you really think we should be going through Artie's bag?!" Anatomy of a Pete massacre:
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Myka's "constipated" fighting position
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Unintelligible lesbian yelling
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Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
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I've made a huge mistake
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You mess with the bull, you get the horns
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Annnnd in 3 seconds, Bering and Wells takes it with a KO
After the bloodbath, Pete relents: "Okay, okay." In an aside to himself, he comments, "Two Mykas, this is going to be fun." I hope he learned his lesson.

The team eventually tracks Artie down to an empty warehouse where he is being tortured. H.G. attempts a rescue, but the bad guy uses a piece of wood from the Titanic to basically freeze her into submission and near death. She still manages to shoot Artie's chains off his wrist (what a badass), allowing him to take on and eventually defeat Mr. Evil Russian. When Pete and Myka arrive on the scene, seeing H.G. is safe, Myka gives her an adorable smile from across the room, as if they spotted each other at a shopping center, instead of the scary torture chamber that they were really in. Oh well, same diff.

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Myka using the "crazy eyes" on Artie
Back in the U.S. of A., we see a furious Myka barging through the Warehouse door, guns aimed at Artie. "How could you?! You turned her in. You handed her over to the Regents without even considering that she might be a valuable asset and..." "Myka," whispers Pete, trying to calm her down from screaming at her boss.

Suddenly, a Regent we have never met before, Regent Kosan, walks through the door, cutting Myka off. In a very suave way, he explains that the decision as to how to handle H.G. was for the Regents to make, not Artie's, and that it has already been made. With tears in her eyes and predicting the worst, Myka softly asks, "Has she been bronzed then?" The way she says it rips your heart out and makes you grab for the nearest alcoholic beverage.


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Pete: Ruh roh
Fortunately, a very alive and non-bronzed H.G. walks through the door, to Myka's sheer delight. I mean, look at her. She smiles like...well, like she's seeing her girlfriend reinstated and coming back to her safely. Meanwhile, Pete just has a look of concern and Artie sits in stunned horror.

Regent Kosan goes on to explain that H.G.'s reinstatement is "thanks in no small part to Agent Bering's report." Artie's head snaps around so quickly his head almost comes off, as he sputters, "Agent Bering's report?" Myka responds, "I tried to tell you, but I..." Oh Myka, you are so transparent. I bet this report featured hearts around H.G.'s name, along with doodles of "Myka Bering Wells" in the margins.

Regent Kosan proceeds to exit the Warehouse, leaving Team Awkward alone in the office. H.G. first approaches Myka, shaking her hand and saying, "Thank you. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Well, I would, but I'd be in bronze." At this last joke, Myka again giggles like she's 14 years old. Artie meanwhile shoots H.G. his "death glare." Pete, in an effort to back up Myka, says unconvincingly to H.G., "Welcome to the team, I guess." Myka watches Pete shake H.G.'s hand with stars in her eyes. This is clearly what Myka looks like when she's introducing a girlfriend to the family.

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Isn't she pretty? I told you she was pretty. She's sooo pretty
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Dad is not happy
H.G. then attempts to try and "clean slate" it with Artie (the man whose life she just saved), but Artie says, "No, this is wrong." He gets up and marches out of the office, with Myka pleading, "Artie..." He then, in his continued campaign for subtle professionalism, bellows, "This is wrong!" Myka looks back at H.G. with a worried look and then runs after Artie. In a very un-Myka like tone, she yells, "Artie, don't you dare just walk away! We went to Russia so we could right the wrongs from your past. Don't you think that H.G. deserves the same chance?" No, he doesn't Myka. Like not at all. The father-daughter fight over the girlfriend ends with Artie snapping, "Oh now, you want to know what I think? I think I'm going to regret not letting her freeze to death. But by then, it'll be too late for all of us." He continues his march out of the Warehouse, leaving a horrified Myka to deal with her disappointing "Meet the Family" event she had envisioned for H.G.

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Why doesn't anyone like my girlfriend?


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