Published on May 18, 2013

Here we are at episode 3.11: Emily Lake. If you're looking for Bering and Wells "feels," you've come to the right place. Also, if you're looking to have a complete and utter emotional breakdown, you've reached your destination as well. Episode 3.11: Emily Lake and episode 3.12: Stand, together, will break your will to live, but in the best of ways...maybe. All I know is that the episode starts out wonderfully because we receive Myka's angry eyes when Pete sides with his mother over her:

Bitch, please

You just wait until my girlfriend shows up

With Claudia's help, Pete and Myka eventually follow a lead to Lincoln High School in search of something that bad guy Walter Sykes may be trying to use against the Warehouse. Myka and Pete divide up, when Myka suddenly spots what she's been looking for (all her life): H.G. Wells...kinda. Like she's in a trance, Myka says dreamily, "I want to go talk to her." Pete, in a panic, 

yells, "Myka, no, we know how lethal she is. We don't know what she's up to. Just wait there for me!" He starts sprinting to find them because he knows Myka's not even listening to him, which she isn't. Like a closeted moth drawn to the big gay flame, Myka floats into the classroom containing her heart's desire.

Myka: "Helena..."

Emily Lake, in a weird-ass non-British accent: "Hello! Uh, are you looking for somebody?"

Myka: "Do the Regents know you're here?"

Emily Lake: "Um, I'm sorry, you must be lost. The main office is straight down the hall."

Hi, welcome to Hell

Myka, in her assertive mother voice: "Look, we don't have time for games. Some very dangerous people know that you're here."

Are you seriously wearing a chartreuse cardigan?

As usual, Myka assumes the best in H.G. and just wants to protect her, while Pete and everyone else assume she's up to something evil and want to "recapture" her.

Thinking Myka is some (hot) drug addict off the street, Emily Lake, in a nightmarish accent, replies, "Um, okay, there must be some mistake here. Let's just call school secuuuurity, and..."

At this point, Pete "a day late and a dollar short" Lattimer runs in, aiming his Tesla at Emily Lake. Emily reacts in the most H.G.-opposite way, by giving a high-pitched yelp and immediately collapsing to the floor to hide under her desk.
    
Myka chides Pete for his "guns a-blazin" tactic, but he justifies his actions by pointing to H.G.'s not so pristine past. Myka is not buying this: "No, something's wrong, okay? She's acting like she doesn't even know who I am." I love that Myka's biggest tipoff that something is amiss is that H.G. is treating Myka like she's a stranger. A former flame not acknowledging your presence is impossible? Apparently, Myka has never been through a bad breakup. 

Regardless, they discover a driver's license (in a horrifically ugly purse) that states that the identity of the H.G. that they are seeing is actually "Emily Lake." Off to Emily Lake's apartment we go.

At Emily's apartment, the team hears a noise coming from the kitchen, so Pete goes into protective caveman mode, but Emily cuts him off: "Oh, Dickens! Mommy's home!" In a complete WTF moment, we see Emily gleefully scoop up a cat, telling him, "Yeah, good boy. Dickens is hungry...and scared...just like his mommy. I'm gonna feed him. Shoot me if you have to." Emily does this while snuggling and kissing the cat, in front of a disinterested Pete and a completely and hilariously disgusted Myka.

WTF WTF WTF WTF

Me confused. Me sad

Seriously? Dickens gets a kiss before I do?

That's not my H.G., not my sexy business

With Myka fixated on this not-H.G. character in horror, Pete snaps her out of it and warns her, "Myka, don't buy this. She is a lunatic killer and she is just, she is hiding it somehow." So, apparently, Pete is still a bit bitter, still Team "Bronze the Crap Out of H.G." Ignoring Pete, Myka figures out that the Regents are behind this "Emily Lake" and that H.G. was not pretending not to know her. Her H.G. would never do that. It all comes together when she remembers the name of the Regent file Claudia was working on: Atlas 66.

Myka: "Atlas 66! That's it! H.G. Wells was born in Atlas House in 1866. I can't believe that I missed that!" Myka, your stalker is showing again. Her next thought: "We've gotta get her somewhere safe before Sykes finds her." Awwww.

Suddenly, Emily Lake appears with an upside-down knife pointed at the unimpressed duo. "Let me go! I...I...I've got a knife," she threatens. I use the term "threatens" lightly. She might as well be carrying a teddy bear or a candy cane. Pete, realizing Myka is right, quickly disarms Emily Lake, resulting in another high-pitched Pokemon-like scream.

Myka: "Do you see? H.G. knows Kempo. If she wanted to hurt you, you'd be lying in a pool of your own blood right now." Another awww, Myka is such an H.G.-idolizer, it's wonderful. She clearly is very turned on by her lady's ability to maim people. 

Pete suddenly gets a vibe of the nasty and has Bering and Lake exit the 

I totes lost my lady boner

apartment building out an alternate route. Unfortunately, turncoat Jinksy finds them, leading Pete and Myka to getting Tesla-ed and a continuously whimpering Emily Lake to getting dragged away with the bad guys.

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Continue to Part 2 of Episode 3.11: Emily Lake