Later on, we find Piper and Nichols playing the classic game of foosball, while discussing the newest chapter in the book of Vauseman. Piper laments, "[Alex] should be under witness protection." Nichols: "What do you care? I mean, didn't she screw you over in Chicago? Oh, that's right. That's kinda how you two relate, isn't it? It's like Spy vs. Spy, but sexual." That's not a bad comparison at all, Nichols. Not at all. Ignoring Nichols' commentary, Piper continues to worry: "You know something, this guy, Kubra, he's no joke, and they know that. They're not taking responsibility for the fact that they put her in harm's way." Nichols points out, "If it's not part of your deal, it's just not part of your deal. Yeah, the system doesn't have a conscience and nobody likes extra work."
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Well, that may be true, but it doesn't mean Piper feels good about it. In a sidenote, it's nice to see Piper caring about Alex again - took about four seconds.
In the greenhouse, Red's older posse is discussing their new orders to shut down the greenhouse and the importing of contraband. Apparently, "Red would rather kill the tunnel then let [Vee] take it." Ah, nothing like a scorched earth policy to really make a gang war even more unfriendly. The women complain about what taking away the greenhouse will do to them, so Taslitz says, "Well, maybe Red isn't thinking straight. When the pirates are boarding, you don't sink the ship; you fight the damn pirates." When Frieda asks her what she's getting at, Taslitz clarifies, "How 'bout I kill the bitch?" Oh, shit. Girl ain't playin'. Also, now, I have a hint as to why she may have ended up in prison. Lovely getting to know you, Taslitz. Speaking of the potential victim, she is sitting in the cafeteria, listening to Suzanne's report on how Safe Place went. When Suzanne describes how they did the human knot teambuilding exercise, Black Cindy cuts her off, commenting, "Sounds mad gay." That's my favorite way of being gay - mad gay! When Taystee asks what Suzanne is talking about, Black Cindy informs her of Suzanne's Poussey-Watch (That sounds really weird. I stand by it.). Taystee tells them all, "You didn't have to do that. I told you, she ain't no fink." |
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Seizing on this statement, Vee challenges, "I'm not really sure where your loyalties lie these days." Then, without any forewarning, suddenly, Vee slams her fist down on the table and says to Taystee, "Why do you keep defending her over your family?" So, at this point, dinner has been completely ruined and the kids are all very scared of Dad/Vee. Fun times in this household. After this explosion, Taystee nervously replies, "I'm not. I...I just think she's been through enough." Acting like she didn't just fly off the handle, Vee says in a normal tone of voice, "Fine, I don't worry. But from now on, she's your responsibility. Anything happens again...it's on you." With this, she quickly gets up and walks away, leaving Taystee to contemplate how she's going to handle her former best friend.
In the bunks, Sophia is looking after Sister Ingalls, who has been engaging in the hunger strike with Soso. When Sister Ingalls is lying down, Caputo comes in with Yoga Jones and Soso, asking, "What happened?" Sophia answers that she fainted, but Sister Ingalls quickly adds, "For a second. I'm not unconscious." Caputo tells her that a deal has been reached to end the hunger strike, and Yoga Jones explains, "It's just not safe anymore...especially for you." Sister Ingalls, though, remains defiant, vowing to press on. She asks Soso if she contacted the media yet, but Soso informs her that nobody cares because all the news channels are focused on the approaching storm. Sophia asks, "Wait a minute, Sister's a nun. You're telling me that's not a story?"
In the bunks, Sophia is looking after Sister Ingalls, who has been engaging in the hunger strike with Soso. When Sister Ingalls is lying down, Caputo comes in with Yoga Jones and Soso, asking, "What happened?" Sophia answers that she fainted, but Sister Ingalls quickly adds, "For a second. I'm not unconscious." Caputo tells her that a deal has been reached to end the hunger strike, and Yoga Jones explains, "It's just not safe anymore...especially for you." Sister Ingalls, though, remains defiant, vowing to press on. She asks Soso if she contacted the media yet, but Soso informs her that nobody cares because all the news channels are focused on the approaching storm. Sophia asks, "Wait a minute, Sister's a nun. You're telling me that's not a story?"
Sophia, you're telling me Sister Ingalls is 100% a-okay?
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*wheezing*
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Uh...
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Caputo: "Yeah, it's less of one since she's been excommunicated." *Gasp* Whaaa? Sister Ingalls (or maybe ex-Sister Ingalls?) doesn't deny it and moves past the issue as if it's irrelevant, instead threatening Caputo, "I'll call it a day...when you make meaningful changes to the way this prison is run." Caputo refuses and decides to step up his opposition, calling in the prison nurse to force Sister Ingalls into eating. As she's being wheeled towards the infirmary, Sophia pleads, "Please, Sister, don't do this to yourself," but she will not be swayed. Instead, as the other inmates offer up their support to her in the hallway, she basks in her popularity and gives a Nixon-esque acknowledgment to the crowd. Sisters are doin' it for themselves!
Back in Healy's office, Piper stops by and asks, "Mr. Healy, did you hear about the Bugle?" Healy tells her, "I can't do anything about it." She begins advocating in favor of it, but Healy seems distracted, leaning forward and trying to cut her off: "Chapman..." In the middle of her speech, he reveals: "You're being transferred...to Virginia." WHAT?!?! Somber, delicate music is playing in the
Back in Healy's office, Piper stops by and asks, "Mr. Healy, did you hear about the Bugle?" Healy tells her, "I can't do anything about it." She begins advocating in favor of it, but Healy seems distracted, leaning forward and trying to cut her off: "Chapman..." In the middle of her speech, he reveals: "You're being transferred...to Virginia." WHAT?!?! Somber, delicate music is playing in the
Maybe if a certain someone attended Safe Place, that person might not be going to another prison
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background, making me think this insanity might actually be true. As Piper tries to process his statement, Healy goes on: "Yeah, your name was included on a list with twelve other girls." But...I...*hyperventilating*...why?!
Frantic, Piper asks, "Is this because of the paper? Is this because I published the strike demands? Is this Fig?" Appearing unhappy with the news as well, Healy leans forward and states, "It's not punitive. We shuffle prisoners around all the time. We're overpopulated. The fact that you're on a list...it's...just a random thing." Bullshit! FIG, WHERE ARE YOU?! Asking the sensible next question, Piper: "When?" Healy: "Maybe in a week. They usually pick 'em up on Saturday." WHAT?!?! Her head shaking in disagreement, Piper's tells him: "No, that's visitation day. Alex was gonna come visit me. I don't know if she can come before then. She said that she needs to speak with me in person." Notwithstanding the awful news, I have to say "Awwww" to Piper's first concern being Alex. Healy, unsurprisingly, thinks Piper's focus needs adjusted. He lectures: "Chapman...you're going down south. Not having closure with Alex Vause would be the least of your problems." To this, Piper can only react with silence. I also am without words. I mean, there's no way this can happen, right? I'm waiting for someone to jump out and say "Just kidding!" Anytime now... |
Pushing that mindfuck to the side for the moment, Vee is in the bathroom and when she's on the way out, Big Boo calls out to her. She says, "I'm not with Red anymore, so I'm, uh...all yours." And what is Vee's response? "But why would I want you?" Ohhhhh, shit son, I called it! Boo reminds her, "I did right by you, Vee. I gave you the 411." Vee: "I don't like snitches." Boom! Without another word, Vee leaves the bathroom and Big Boo finds herself on a very lonely island by herself. Good luck with all of your nothing, Boo.
And finally, to end this tornado of crazy that is 2.11: Take a Break From Your Values, Taslitz is already green-lighting Operation: Kill the Beast and is tracking Vee as she leaves the bathroom. ZOMG. Interspersed with a disoriented Sister Ingalls singing O, Rest in the Lord from the oratorio, Elijah, Taslitz follows Vee around the twists and turns of the LCF hallways and finally plunges her shiv right in the back of Vee. She repeatedly stabs her from behind, when suddenly, Vee's face appears from another doorway. Wait, is that not her?! Apparently not! The poor, innocent Vee doppelganger gasps, "What the...fuck did I do? What did I do?!" and Taslitz books it after seeing her mistake. Way to go, Taslitz! Son of a biscuit, how in the heck do you stab (multiple times, I might add) the wrong person?! Have some pride in your work! Also, your tracking skills are shit! She was right in front of you and you lost her!
And finally, to end this tornado of crazy that is 2.11: Take a Break From Your Values, Taslitz is already green-lighting Operation: Kill the Beast and is tracking Vee as she leaves the bathroom. ZOMG. Interspersed with a disoriented Sister Ingalls singing O, Rest in the Lord from the oratorio, Elijah, Taslitz follows Vee around the twists and turns of the LCF hallways and finally plunges her shiv right in the back of Vee. She repeatedly stabs her from behind, when suddenly, Vee's face appears from another doorway. Wait, is that not her?! Apparently not! The poor, innocent Vee doppelganger gasps, "What the...fuck did I do? What did I do?!" and Taslitz books it after seeing her mistake. Way to go, Taslitz! Son of a biscuit, how in the heck do you stab (multiple times, I might add) the wrong person?! Have some pride in your work! Also, your tracking skills are shit! She was right in front of you and you lost her!
Take that, random citizen!
The moral of this episode: Do not maintain the same haircut as the most hated person in your prison. If you can be mistaken as Enemy No. 1 from behind, or the side, or whatever, change it up! As for Vee, she's still standing...
Prayer circle for Piper Chapman not to be transferred!
Prayer circle for Piper Chapman not to be transferred!
Continue to the recap for Orange is the New Black episode 2.12: It Was the Change
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