Continued from Page 2 of Orange is the New Black 2.07: Comic Sans
Naturally, Flaca goes to Mom, I mean, Piper, about this, who, of course, responds with a nonpartisan spiel about the technically proper usage vs. the colloquially acceptable usage: "But I think this is one of those things like 'literally,' where the colloquial usage of the word eventually wins out." Uh, I quarrel with this comparison. I'm okay with the improper version of "I couldn't care less" being accepted into popular usage (kind of), but "literally" is a whole other issue. (Please see The Oatmeal's explanatory comic to perfectly address this - seriously, it features a "homosexual steamroller" - you must read.) When Piper says "colloquial," Morello grins and points at Piper as if she has any clue what "colloquial" means. Unsurprisingly, Flaca is displeased.
Listen, Maria, you need to calm down...
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My name's not Maria! STOP CALLING ME MARIA!
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But I thought you said you were Spanish, right?
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As Flaca and Morello continue to argue, Jimmy walks in with Officer Bell tailing her. Going right to Piper, Jimmy says, "I'm so glad I found you, Roberta." Yes! Roberta asks Jimmy if she's okay, but Jimmy claims, "No, I'm being followed. It's the damn Irish. I can't go back to the pen." Wow. When Officer Bell calmly tells Jimmy there's "no touching," Jimmy suddenly shuffles out of the library, as Piper looks on in concern. Flaca, though, is moving forward, proposing that she do an advice column where "[p]eople write about their problems and then I tell them to get their shit together." I hope that really is all the column is - where every answer is "Get your shit together." I'd read it.
Back at Casa de Bloom, Larry is struggling unsuccessfully in the dark with opening a jar. If there was one scene to sum up Larry Bloom, I'm gonna say we found it. After he almost gives himself a hernia, a reprieve from his constant failure is provided by the buzzing of the door. He goes to answer it and who should walk through the door - his conscience! No, but close - Pete Harper. The cuckold greets Larry and then goes right into why he's here: "I had to get out of the house for a bit. Polly has been a pill today. I watched the baby all afternoon. I told her to go spin or whatever it is that she does, and then when she gets back, she's in
Back at Casa de Bloom, Larry is struggling unsuccessfully in the dark with opening a jar. If there was one scene to sum up Larry Bloom, I'm gonna say we found it. After he almost gives himself a hernia, a reprieve from his constant failure is provided by the buzzing of the door. He goes to answer it and who should walk through the door - his conscience! No, but close - Pete Harper. The cuckold greets Larry and then goes right into why he's here: "I had to get out of the house for a bit. Polly has been a pill today. I watched the baby all afternoon. I told her to go spin or whatever it is that she does, and then when she gets back, she's in
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an even weirder mood than before. Bitches, am I right?" You were right...until you said "bitches." Now, you are not, sir. Larry just stands there in speechless discomfort. The truth...it is a-comin'.
In LCF, the editorial staff is hard at work to finalize the first newsletter, when Healy pops by to get a preview. Flaca presents him with the Daya-produced comic strip, and when he puts his glasses on to read it, the room waits with bated breath to see how he reacts. Fortunately, he laughs and compliments, "Good artwork." Piper also takes this opportunity to ask, "I was wondering if you've heard anything about my furlough." He tells her that there's been no response so far, but he'll check into it. On the way out, he comments, "That walrus is hilarious." Yes, he is. Also, completely clueless. Later on, Piper is outside, when Jimmy is being escorted away by |
Boy, would I love to motorboat Morello's twins...
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two guards. Upon seeing Piper, Jimmy pleads to her, "Roberta! Don't let them take me! Roberta!" Confused by what's going on, Piper walks over to Sister Ingalls and Frieda, saying, "Please tell me that they're taking her to get help." Sister Ingalls informs her, "They're taking her to the bus station. She needs full-time care in a dedicated facility. They're not gonna pay for that." Piper asks about her family, but Frieda scoffs at this suggestion, replying, "She has a daughter in Stockholm. They don't speak." "So, she's out on the street?" questions Piper. In a disillusioned voice, Sister Ingalls explains, "It's called 'compassionate release.'" A clearly distraught and confused Jimmy is placed in a van, while the women can only look on in helplessness. As the credits roll, the haunting lyrics of the song "Into the Unknown" (see below) play, and, yeah, there is nothing remotely funny or pleasant about any of this. Props to Orange is the New Black for highlighting another very problematic and rarely addressed issue plaguing the penal system in the U.S.
That being said, to end on a happy note, here's a picture of Larry getting tossed around like a ragdoll during the Polly hookup:
Continue to the recap for Orange is the New Black 2.08: Appropriately Sized Pots
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