Later on, Piper is attempting to do an electrical repair, with Nichols assisting. While she's fiddling with the circuitry, Piper asks Nichols, "When you get out of here, who do you imagine yourself going home to?" Nichols: "Fiona Apple in the Criminal video." Oh man, I love that song and that video! Awesome reference, but less than ideal setting. She poses the question back to Piper who answers, "I always thought it would be Larry, but I think it's time to re-imagine. This stupid fucking holiday." Nichols offers, "Listen, if you want, I can help you forget what day it is. You know, or your name, for that matter." She says this while tenderly brushing aside a strand of hair next to Piper's face. Girl is smooth. She's going for the full Vauseman!
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Piper, though, is not up for it, replying, "You know, no. I am not interested in being a prize, albeit a shockingly-undervalued one in your little sex game. I lost my manipulative, gorgeous, psychopath ex and my sweet, kind, unfocused fiancé." Boy, are her descriptions telling. The terms she uses to describe Larry are similar to those I would use to describe the neighborhood mailman - not someone ya want to sex up. She continues, "I don't have a home anymore." Nichols disagrees: "Yeah, Chapman, you do..." Before she can finish her thought, sparks fly out from where Nichols is tinkering and Piper gives a high-pitched yelp. Laughing, Nichols tells her, "This shit pile! Home sweet home." Recovering from the electric shitshow that just took place, Nichols says in sincerity, "Look, I gotta say, your unfocused fiancé is on the right track with this article shit. I mean, this is like my 20th time trying to fix a short in this panel alone. Nobody's spending money here." Good point, but still...never side |
I'll let you smack my ass and call me "Alex," if you let me in your backdoor and call you "Lorna"
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with Larry. He's not on the right track. He's not even on the right train.
Over in the library, Poussey is reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland to Taystee, when Officer Maxwell comes by and announces, "Jefferson, say goodbye. You're on custodial now." Oh no! From the land of endless wonder (the library) to the janitorial staff - not a great career move. When Poussey expresses her surprise at this, Taystee says, "Remember, I told you Vee was getting something together?" Poussey: "But why would you leave the library, man? You know you love it here." Unfortunately, Taystee is getting closer and closer to joining the dark side: "You don't understand. I owe her. She could probably get you transferred, I bet." Poussey rejects this offer, and in frustration, Taystee tells her she'll see her later at dinner. She returns the book to Poussey and walks away, leaving her friend to look on sadly. Damn you, Vee!
We then get a flashback to...oh...oh my. Well, there's no way of putting it other than that Poussey and her girlfriend are getting their scissor on. I didn't realize anyone actually scissored other than faux lesbians in pornos. Apparently, I am wrong. It seems,
Over in the library, Poussey is reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland to Taystee, when Officer Maxwell comes by and announces, "Jefferson, say goodbye. You're on custodial now." Oh no! From the land of endless wonder (the library) to the janitorial staff - not a great career move. When Poussey expresses her surprise at this, Taystee says, "Remember, I told you Vee was getting something together?" Poussey: "But why would you leave the library, man? You know you love it here." Unfortunately, Taystee is getting closer and closer to joining the dark side: "You don't understand. I owe her. She could probably get you transferred, I bet." Poussey rejects this offer, and in frustration, Taystee tells her she'll see her later at dinner. She returns the book to Poussey and walks away, leaving her friend to look on sadly. Damn you, Vee!
We then get a flashback to...oh...oh my. Well, there's no way of putting it other than that Poussey and her girlfriend are getting their scissor on. I didn't realize anyone actually scissored other than faux lesbians in pornos. Apparently, I am wrong. It seems,
Oh my God! It's a chocolate and vanilla swirrlll!
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though, that they are still trying to get in the right position when we enter the scene. After a short leg cramp, Poussey finds the sweet spot, leading Franziska to say, "That's nice." Unfortunately, seconds later, she announces, "No. It's gone." Poussey replies, "I told you scissoring wasn't a thing." Ah-ha!
Laughing, the two women lie back and Franziska spoons Poussey from behind. Poussey: "There's a saying about love. I'm thinking of the one that says, 'Love is not about staring at each other, but staring off in the same direction.'" Yes, staring off at the screen playing something on Netflix would be how I would end that saying. Franziska replies, "I don't like that one. I love staring at you too much." Oh, Franziska, you charmer. Poussey smiles and they softly kiss before Franziska tells Poussey she's thirsty. Poussey reaches over to grab a glass of water and after letting Franziska take a sip, she pours some onto Franziska's chest and proceeds to follow the path of the water with her lips. Poussey continues to move further south and while she's hard at work down under, suddenly, a light turns on and Franziska's father is standing in the room, mouth agape at what he is seeing. Franziska rushes to cover herself, while Poussey buries her head in horror into the bed. Oh...this is not going to go well, is it? |
Back in the present, Piper is on another electrical fix-it job, this time with Luschek. She comments that this is one of many recent blown fuses she's had to fix and asks Luschek, "Doesn't the prison have a budget for infrastructure?" When Luschek answers in the affirmative, she follows up, "And what happened to the electrical budget from last quarter?" Oh, this is just normal, unsuspicious chitchat, Piper. Way to be under the radar with your investigative journalism. Luschek answers, "It went to 'upgrading the A block grid and loading dock panel.'" Piper: "Really? We did that?" Luschek: "That's what the budget report says." She persists, "So, we did it?" Luschek: "Okay." Piper: "So, it happened?" Piper! Watch yourself! Luschek gives her a careless "Why not," but she's not satisfied. She tells him, "I don't understand." He assures her, "Trust me, you don't want to." With this, he makes his exit, and it seems Piper's running with Larry's idea...which, of course, was stolen from that other journalist. That's right, Larry. Hope you enjoy being the moon!
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In the cafeteria, Yoga Jones is leading, what else, yoga, as Big Boo stands along the wall, creeping. She spots a girl that looks particularly enticing and approaches her from the rear, grabbing her hips and saying, "You know, I think I can help you with the dolphin pose. The trick is to make sure that your pelvic basin is just right..." "Get away from me," orders the girl. And yes, that is the correct answer! Nicely handled, ma'am. Big Boo looks confused as to why this stranger would not want to be mounted by her during yoga, and I am not sure why. Has that move ever worked before? Dear God, I hope not. At this point, Red quietly slips into the room, clandestinely dropping off random contraband gifts to her former crew. She gives makeup to DeMarco, a bag of sunflower seeds to Big Boo, and tea to Yoga Jones, who tells her, "Well, look who's back." Look who's back indeed. Time for a power play. Red goes over to the suburbs where Norma and Murphy are playing cards and Nichols is logging a new bang in her Bang-Off journal. She abruptly starts, "Listen up. This angry nonsense has to stop. We're going to need each other soon. All of us." Well, that's one way to apologize - demand that people move |
An example of why the GLBT community still struggles for acceptance
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on. She pulls gifts out of her pockets for Norma and Murphy, who respond by silently getting up and leaving. Uh, Red, I'm not sure a small bottle of lotion makes up for the third-degree burns that scarred Murphy for the rest of her life. And by "not sure," I'm absolutely sure that's inadequate. Red turns to the only one left, Nichols, and implores, "I'm not kidding, Nicky. We have to stick together. We're stronger together." Nichols criticizes, "So, you try to buy their love back?" Red throws her some candy, but Nichols follows suit with Norma and Murphy and leaves Red sitting on her cot by herself. A certain song of The Beatles seems particularly relevant right now.
Over by the commissary, Poussey walks up to the window and signals to Vee that she wants to speak to her privately. Oooh boy. The two of them go into the hallway and Vee begins before Poussey can even say anything, "Let me guess. 'Yo, Vee, I'm just so mad since y'all got Taystee transferred to custodial. Just left me in the library with my titties in my hand.' Close?" What the hell kinda impersonation was that? That was nothing like Poussey! She's adorable and sweet. She ain't saying "titties in my hand"! Unamused, Poussey replies, "No, you left out, 'If you get her in trouble, I'll kill you.'" Ooooh, I would not use the "k" word with Vee. Or really anyone in prison.
Over by the commissary, Poussey walks up to the window and signals to Vee that she wants to speak to her privately. Oooh boy. The two of them go into the hallway and Vee begins before Poussey can even say anything, "Let me guess. 'Yo, Vee, I'm just so mad since y'all got Taystee transferred to custodial. Just left me in the library with my titties in my hand.' Close?" What the hell kinda impersonation was that? That was nothing like Poussey! She's adorable and sweet. She ain't saying "titties in my hand"! Unamused, Poussey replies, "No, you left out, 'If you get her in trouble, I'll kill you.'" Ooooh, I would not use the "k" word with Vee. Or really anyone in prison.
Vee: I remember being young and in love...
Poussey: For real? |
Vee: ...mmm...the passion...
Poussey: Uh...what is happening right now? |
Vee: OH GOD, YES! MMM!!!
Poussey: I deeply regret everything |
Unfazed by this comment, Vee asks, "Really? And how would you kill me?" Poussey, looking nervous and rubbing her fists, answers, "I'll figure it out. I know she thinks she owes you, but from what I heard, you're just a bully who uses lost kids for her own shit and then dumps 'em soon as the heat comes down. You're a fucking vampire." Whipping her head around, Vee cuts in, "There was this kid growing up. Name was Haro Jones. He had these arms. I just wanted to...lick the length of his arms. [EW!] And then one day, I walked into the park, found his hand up Jamela Larkin's skirt. Broke my poor fool heart..." Poussey tries to interrupt, so, Vee gets right in Poussey's face and gets to the point: "Taystee...will...never...love...you. She will never love you. Not the way you want." OUCH. Poussey gives Vee an uncertain look before suddenly breaking out into a smile and laughing, telling Vee, "Yo, I don't want her like that. I'm just looking out for her. That's all." She turns to leave, with Vee watching confidently from behind, knowing the damage has been done. Once out of sight, Poussey's face goes from a smile to a look of profound pain. Gah, this is painful to watch!