Continued from Page 3 of Orange is the New Black 2.01: Thirsty Bird
Soon after Piper and Larry's dad meet with prosecutors, she's placed in a van with Alex and they are on their way to the trial. Quietly, Piper tells Alex, "I don't know if I can do it." Annoyed by this, Alex chastises, "Did you not hear everything I said?" Piper calmly throws back, "When you told me that nothing bad was gonna happen?" Oooh, girl, now is not the time. Alex: "How long have you been holding onto that one?"
Alex stresses, "We have got to go in united on this." Piper suggests, "Maybe we should both just be honest." Thrusting her hands towards Piper in irritation, Alex insists, "This is not the time to take some moral high ground." Piper points out, "You know, I only seem to be faced with these extreme moral choices when I am with you." Sarcastically, Alex responds, "Exciting, right?" Returning to a more sincere tone, Alex confesses, "Look, I wish I could do this all over again, but I can't, okay? This is the only way I can keep you safe now. You have to do what I'm telling you." Awww, Alex.
Alex stresses, "We have got to go in united on this." Piper suggests, "Maybe we should both just be honest." Thrusting her hands towards Piper in irritation, Alex insists, "This is not the time to take some moral high ground." Piper points out, "You know, I only seem to be faced with these extreme moral choices when I am with you." Sarcastically, Alex responds, "Exciting, right?" Returning to a more sincere tone, Alex confesses, "Look, I wish I could do this all over again, but I can't, okay? This is the only way I can keep you safe now. You have to do what I'm telling you." Awww, Alex.
Somehow, the poor lighting in this van has made you look even more gorgeous than usual
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I know, right?
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Not swayed by this, Piper asks, "Or what? We're over?" Alex: "No. I wanna be your prison wife." (*Snort) Oh Alex, you silly goose. Piper, though, warns, "Alex, I need to do the right thing for a change. I have to. And truthfully, you...you can't keep me safe either way." Processing this statement, Alex looks away in sadness, unwilling or unable to argue any more with Piper.
The next thing we see is Piper taking the stand after being sworn in. Before testimony begins, a court official walks into the courtroom, providing Piper a glimpse of a worried Alex waiting for her turn. This moment is not inconsequential. Piper's eyes and thoughts linger on Alex as the prosecutor proceeds with his examination: "Can you explain to me how you came to be associated with Mr. Balik's drug ring?" Piper: "My girlfriend at the time...Alex." The prosecutor asks a question we'd all like to know, "Are you two still a couple?" Piper, after a short pause: "No." Prosecutor: "But in 2003, how would you describe the relationship?" It's
The next thing we see is Piper taking the stand after being sworn in. Before testimony begins, a court official walks into the courtroom, providing Piper a glimpse of a worried Alex waiting for her turn. This moment is not inconsequential. Piper's eyes and thoughts linger on Alex as the prosecutor proceeds with his examination: "Can you explain to me how you came to be associated with Mr. Balik's drug ring?" Piper: "My girlfriend at the time...Alex." The prosecutor asks a question we'd all like to know, "Are you two still a couple?" Piper, after a short pause: "No." Prosecutor: "But in 2003, how would you describe the relationship?" It's
Could you explain to the court what two women even do in bed together?
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as if the prosecutor is interviewing her about the Vauseman ship. I support this. Keep asking away, sir!
Piper answers, "We were together...She was...the love of my life." Awww. The prosecutor continues, "And was it Miss Vause who introduced you to Mr. Balik?" Piper: "I don't recall." *Gasp! Love conquers all, including telling the truth. The prosecutor, momentarily stunned, tries asking in another way, "Someone else made the introduction?" Piper, looking right back at him: "I don't recall." With agitation in his voice, the prosecutor questions, "Are you saying you never met Mr. Balik?" After looking down at her hands for a bit, Piper responds, "Not that I can recall." Oooh, buddy. Larry's father gives Piper a look of disappointment, but does not seem altogether surprised. Trying to salvage his witness, the prosecutor points out, "You traveled together to Bali, Brussels, Paris, Turkey, Greece...all in the span of one year." Piper, almost in tears thinking back on this time, admits, "We traveled a lot." Prosecutor: "And never in that time did she introduce you to her boss, Kubra Balik?" Piper: "Not that I can recall." Well, then. The prosecutor reminds her of the consequences of lying under oath, |
but Piper explains, "I was there for Alex. She was what I paid attention to...who I paid attention to. Everything else was just...background." Perjury has never sounded so sweet.
Afterwards, Piper sits in a holding cell when her attorney approaches. He begins, "Since I'm not a half-wit like my son (*snicker), I don't have to bother asking why you did that. I guess the possibility of added time or resentencing on new charges just isn't that big a deal for you." Piper resignedly expresses, "I'm sorry I disappointed you." He responds, "Disappointed me? You broke the law...again." Looking broken, Piper tells him, "I made a decision that I don't expect you to understand." He informs her, "Well, I'm done. You live on this slippery slope, kid, and for some reason, you can't seem to stop doing rain dances. Good luck, honey." Wow, what a disappointed father speech that was.
In another flashback, but this time to Vauseman during their relationship a decade prior, Piper and Alex are in a luxurious pool, flanked by Fahri, Kubra, and another associate in the drug ring. Piper is draped around Alex and is visibly entranced by her. She
Afterwards, Piper sits in a holding cell when her attorney approaches. He begins, "Since I'm not a half-wit like my son (*snicker), I don't have to bother asking why you did that. I guess the possibility of added time or resentencing on new charges just isn't that big a deal for you." Piper resignedly expresses, "I'm sorry I disappointed you." He responds, "Disappointed me? You broke the law...again." Looking broken, Piper tells him, "I made a decision that I don't expect you to understand." He informs her, "Well, I'm done. You live on this slippery slope, kid, and for some reason, you can't seem to stop doing rain dances. Good luck, honey." Wow, what a disappointed father speech that was.
In another flashback, but this time to Vauseman during their relationship a decade prior, Piper and Alex are in a luxurious pool, flanked by Fahri, Kubra, and another associate in the drug ring. Piper is draped around Alex and is visibly entranced by her. She
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tells Alex, "I think it's time for me to go call my dad." Alex: "Oh, tell Bill I said, 'Happy Birthday.'" Piper, playfully: "You don't exist, remember?" This isn't surprising, but it is disappointing. Piper gives her a goodbye kiss and goes to call her father in another room. He asks her how she's doing and if she's still in Barcelona with Polly. Ah, they have no idea at all, do they. He gives her standard fatherly advice, and she repeats it back to him, affirming, "You taught me everything, Dad." Yes, about living a double life. He ends the call by telling her she's a "good girl," and it's obvious that this compliment doesn't feel so great being received by Piper. She winces just slightly, and then ends the call by wishing him a happy birthday again. Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
In the present, Alex walks out of an elevator with her attorney and she curiously is not wearing a prison uniform. As soon as she gets off, Piper calls her name, "Alex!" as she paces behind the bars of her cell. She reports, "Alex, I did what you said." Alex starts, "Listen, Piper, everything just happened so fast." Uh oh, what does this mean? Noticing Alex's clothes, Piper asks, "What's going on?" Alex answers, |
Yeah, Dad, I'm having a blast at bible camp right now. 4th one this year! I'm crazy about the bible!
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"I had to tell the truth." *Gasp of betrayal! "My lawyer said that..." Piper: "Are you kidding?" Alex stumbles over her words, trying to explain: "Piper, you don't understand..." Her attorney pulls her towards the door, as Piper follows her from inside the cell, again demanding an answer: "Are you fucking kidding me? Where are you going? Are you getting out?" Alex only replies, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Piper. I'll write you. I need to explain." As Alex goes around the corner and out of sight, Piper grips the bars of her cell and in a crescendo of cries, yells, "What the fuck did you do, Alex? What the fuck did you do?! Fuck you, Alex! Fuck you!" And the first episode of the second season closes with the guttural screams of Piper echoing in our heads.
Ha ha, suck on it, loser!
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Well, this is unnecessary
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I've got two things to say about this: 1) Alex Idon'tknowyourmiddlename Vause, you better march your little booty back here right now, young lady! 2) Welcome back! This is gonna be a fun ride!
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Go to Orange is the New Black Episode Recaps
Go to Orange is the New Black page Go to Vauseman page Go to Vauseman Gallery of Passion Go to Alex Vause page Go to Alex Vause Gallery of Sexy Go to Piper Chapman page Go to Piper Chapman Gallery of Emotion Go to Laura Prepon page Go to Taylor Schilling page |