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Orange is the New Black 1.09: Fucksgiving

Continue to Page 3 of Orange is the New Black 1.09: Fucksgiving

While Larry is having the time of his life flirting with his NPR crush, Alex is concerned with only one thing: Piper. As the inmates sit down for their Thanksgiving meals, Alex goofs off with Nichols until the prayer is finished. Afterwards, as soon as it is time to eat, Alex's mind drifts elsewhere. She complains to Nichols, "It doesn't feel right to be eating while she's in there." Nichols, the consummate cynic, comments, "Straight girls...they'll fuck you up every time." I hear ya, but Piper isn't straight, so that statement is not applicable. In response, Alex just looks down sadly at her uneaten meal. Love...sad love.

In Healy's office, Caputo has joined in the "Free Piper" campaign that has taken the prison by storm. He tells Healy, "You can't leave her in there. I don't know what the hell she's doing in Seg in the first place. Christ, even Mendez [Pornstache] said it was 
Picture
WARNING: Adorableness overload! Cannot compute!
uncalled for, and that guy lives to throw people in the box." Healy stakes his territory, rebuffing Caputo, "You're not my boss," but Caputo has had enough: "Today, I am. Fig is on vacation, and I am telling you I don't have the write-ups or the paperwork to support it. She got under your skin, Sam. This is personal."

Healy, looking disgusted, whines, "She thinks she's running the place."

Caputo: "You don't have to tell me that. Her fiancé is raising a stink bigger than the shit I took this morning. Christ, he's probably got the Obamas on the phone by now." Aw, Larry, good job, mate. That being said, no way in Hell the Obamas are taking Larry's call. I don't even think Polly would. He demands Healy pull her out of SHU before a lawsuit or worse comes down the pipe. Suck on it, Healy!

Out by the LCF payphones, Sophia dials Crystal up to speak with her. When Crystal reluctantly picks up, Sophia softly says, "I'll just take a minute. I was wrong. You do whatever you need to do. You have my blessing." Awww....Her wife gives a small smile in reaction and tells her, "Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving." Good for you, Sophia! I don't know if 
I could do that, so you have my respect.

Later, when Sophia heads to pick up her meds for the day. She notices her dosage is larger than usual. The nurse informs her, "New doctor. He said your chart was wrong. So, you're back to your old dosage." It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Or karma at work! Or just someone not being terrible for once to a trans person! Either way, woohoo!

More good news continues as the next thing we see is a guard releasing Piper from SHU. An exhausted and somewhat stunned Piper slowly makes her way out of her solitary cell. But, suddenly, the good news stops there. Immediately after this, Guard Fischer gives Healy Larry's phone number from when he wrote it down earlier in the episode. While Fischer is just trying to help Piper and Larry out, this likely is going to do more harm than good, as Healy takes the number from her and instantly starts dialing Larry's number. When Larry picks up, he tells him, "I have some information that might interest you regarding your fiancée." I assume that information does not relate to her wicked good moves on the dance floor or her love of donuts. Damn it, Healy!
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Piper: I need the "V"
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Alex back porn + Piper unleashing the breastesses = Oh yes!
At the end of Fucksgiving, a slightly disoriented Piper finds herself back with the general population in LCF. As "Walking Backwards" by Leagues (see above) plays, Piper very determinedly makes her way through LCF, on a hunt for Alex. When she finds her at her bunk, Alex turns around and upon seeing Piper's face, she erupts into a big smile, saying, "Oh, my God..." Piper, though, is a woman on a mission and just grabs her by the wrist and drags her from the room. Wearing an expressionless face, she tells Alex, "Let's get out of here." Worried, Alex asks, "Are you okay?" but Piper remains silent. Instead, Piper leads Alex into the vacant LCF chapel and proceeds to go at it with Alex. I mean it. Piper goes at Alex like she's an oasis in the middle of the desert and Piper has been eating sand for a decade. It's awesome. Vauseman lives! And it was worth the wait.

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Continue to Orange is the New Black 1.10: Bora Bora Bora Recap

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